Such Is My Life: Once Bitten, Not Twice Shy

***The following contains somewhat graphic images at the end***

People always warn you about going to a stranger's house when picking up something you found on an internet site (i.e. Craigslist, Freecycle, Facebook "For Sale" Groups). They don't want you going into a dangerous situation and getting yourself hurt. We've all heard horror stories and sometimes our little hairs stand up on the backs of our necks when we find ourselves on a stranger's doorstep. But no, not me... I tend to get a sense for a situation and have a bit of an idea of how it is going to go. So let me tell you this story that just so happened to me 2 weeks ago.

I was skimming through one of my Facebook "For Sale" Groups and came across a post from a lady getting rid of a bunch of her items. She had posted a rather undetailed description of what she had to offer and requested to be contacted via text message if anyone was interested. I was interested in the two computer desk chairs she had so I shot off a text asking for pictures. She quickly responded and I liked what I saw. After agreeing on a price of $30 for both chairs (a pretty good deal), we set up a time for me to come get them.

The following morning I was to go pick up the chairs from her house. She sent me directions but offered to meet me at Walmart, if that was easier. I declined out of respect. I know I wouldn't want to load two computer chairs into my car to meet someone in a parking lot and potentially have them bail or not be able to find me. I was fine meeting her at her house. After all, my spidey sense was not tingling.

I had planned to drop my kids off at school and head straight over to her house but I didn't want to be early (and her not be expecting me so early) so I came back to my house. I procrastinated a little too long playing Candy Crush and smoking a cigarette (a nasty habit I picked up 9 months ago but have since given up). I was supposed to be there at 8:30 and it was already 8:15, it was to take about 20 minutes to get there according to Google Maps. Just as I was headed out the door I got a text message from the lady. She had to run to Pearl Harbor but would be back around 10am. Ok, no big deal. I didn't have anything else going on so I decided that I would hang out at home for a little while longer.

I got antsy at 9:30 so headed out earlier. I arrived just outside her neighborhood at 9:50 and decided to go drop off some books at the library around the corner so as not to arrive before she made it back home. The timing was perfect. I left the library at 9:58 and sent her a text message asking if we were still on for 10. She replied almost immediately. She was home and we were still good for 10. Great! In about 5 minutes I was going to have 2 new chairs and she was going to be $30 richer.

At 10:02 I drove past her house. It was on the corner so I missed the address. I turned around and pulled up to the curb. I didn't text her to let her know I was there but then again, she was expecting me... right? I walked around to the side of the house where the door was and walked through a small gate that led to her yard (the only way to get to her door). I walked up the two steps to the porch and noticed a "NO SOLICITING" and "BEWARE OF DOG" sign above the doorbell. Ok, you have dogs... no big deal. I have a dog. I like dogs. You know I am coming over... right? I could hear noise coming from the house (like someone was doing dishes) and knocked on the screen door. Immediately the door was answered by a barking dog just inside the screen door and not 2 seconds later, another dog came barreling through the screen door to greet me. This whole time I have a smile on my face. I don't even know why I was so happy. I just remember feeling happy.

Don't worry though... the happiness ended rather abruptly. I thought the dog was just nipping at my ankles like some dogs do. I tried to back up off the porch but by that time the medium sized lab/rottie looking mix had clamped down on the back of my right calf. There was screaming and crying and I shook the dog off my leg. The lady was not far behind the dog and she dragged him back in the house. I couldn't move. I was crying, I was shaking, I couldn't stand, and I couldn't move from that spot on her porch.

She came back out with a bottle of peroxide and a paper towel and I just about kicked her in the face when she tried to touch me. I was livid. I was in a lot of pain. And there was NO EFFIN WAY she was putting peroxide on the large, already bruised, wound on my leg. I hobbled my way off the porch and to the gate, still in her yard. I fumbled for my phone and instinctively called 911. That was at 10:08am. Apparently calling 911 here does not get you to the right person and you need to be transferred to the service that you actually need. Weird, but ok. I get on the phone with the paramedics and they ask me all kinds of questions... the first being was it a pit bull. No, no it was not. Pit bulls are not the only dogs that bite, people! Anyway, after finally figuring out where I was located, they were sending an ambulance and the police.

I made my way to a picnic table in a small courtyard in from of the house and the lady followed me over there. I held the paper towels on the bite that was hardly bleeding and called my husband to let him know what happened. And then I took a picture and posted it on Facebook. The lady called her boyfriend to also let him know what happened since it was his dog that bit me. The police were on their way, the ambulance was on it's way, my husband was on his way and the dog owner was now on his way.

We sat there in silence for what seemed like forever and then saw the two police cars drive by. They passed the house just like I did and had to turn around. They pulled up to the curb and asked if I was the one that called and then came to see what happened. They questioned me, they questioned her, they questioned the dog... ok, they didn't question the dog but they did ask to see the dog. Figures he looks all happy with tail wagging and no barking when the cop WITH A GUN walks up to him but when a HAPPY woman WITH A PURSE comes to the door all hell breaks loose. The lady explained that the dogs are just protective of the house and they don't let anyone get to the front door. News flash! I was AT the front door! And no one needed protecting from the girl with the money! AAAAANNNNNDDDD YOU KNEW I WAS COMING!!! Would it have killed her to put the dogs away? NO! But it sure could have killed me since she neglected to do that. It didn't though... as you can tell or else I wouldn't be typing up this blog right now LoL

The paramedics finally showed up. They determined that I was probably going to be fine but I needed to go get a tetanus shot and have the E.R. clean it out. The EMT asked me if I wanted the ambulance to take me but I was not paying that bill when my husband was on his way.

The police left after giving me a little card with the incident report number and letting us know that the Humane Society would be investigating. Did you know there is a one bite rule in most states? That means a dog can bite one time and nothing will happen... the 2nd time though, my guess is it doesn't turn out well for the dog. Also, did you know that having a "Beware of Dog" sign relieves the owner of responsibility because the victim knowingly put themselves at risk? Yup, didn't know what either. So needless to say, no charges were filed against the owners and I was sent on my way.

My husband arrived after everyone else had left (I think...) and I asked him if he still wanted me to get the chairs. Before he could answer, the lady piped up in a rather uncaring tone, "If you want." she said. {Did I mention she seemed more pissed than I was about this whole thing? And not pissed at the incident or the dog, but pissed at me for calling the cops!} I joked that I had come all that way so I might as well get them. I know, I probably should have just said "Fuck you AND your chairs." but it was a good deal {minus the dog bite} and I was already there and I did need computer desk chairs. So yeah, I got the chairs. I only had $22 in cash, the rest was in change that I pilfered from my 8 year old so the lady with the chairs and crazy dogs said I could have them for $22 instead of $30... the first nice encounter I've had with her since I showed up.

John loaded the chairs into my car, I followed him home and then we headed to the hospital in his Jeep. Getting in and out was a challenge. My leg really hurt but felt much better when the ER doctor numbed it all up. I'm pretty sure he put some funny drugs in that needle too because after that I was really giddy and everything was funny. The best part was when the male nurse filled my puncture wound with saline and then squeezed my leg. I took a picture which you can see below if you so desire LoL

It only took an hour and a half from start to finish in the emergency room and we got home just in time for the kids to get out of school. With my leg all wrapped up and the numbing meds still working I was able to walk all over campus to find my heathens and meet John back at the shopping plaza next to the school (that is another story in and of itself). Shortly after arriving home the numbing meds started to wear off and naproxen became my new best friend. It was uncomfortable to walk, it was uncomfortable to sit, it was uncomfortable to sleep and I was exhausted from such an eventful day.

Now here it is 2 weeks later and my leg is healing nicely. There is still a bit of a bruise and a knotted muscle underneath that but all in all I should be just fine aside from a scar. I wasn't scared of dogs before and I'm not scared of dogs now... will I walk up to another house with a Beware of Dog sign? Who knows... I am a little crazy.

And without further ado, for your viewing... er... whatever. Some of my "favorite" pics

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