Monday, March 31, 2008

Manic Monday

My day started just like any other day. My kids wouldn't get out of bed. The morning was spent yelling at one kid for not getting into the bath, at another for taking their pants off, another for forgetting their backpack, well, you get the idea. It was just a typical morning in this house.

No one ever goes to bed when they are told so they are too tired to get up in the morning. Then they are too cold, their stomach hurts, or they can't find something. There is always some excuse or reason why they can't or won't do what they are told. It's frickin rough getting up and out the door on time for school.

I'm not sure why it's so much harder this year. Last year they had to be to school by 845. We would be out the door by 830 and often we would walk. This year its amazing they get to school at all, let alone on time. Not sure what the difference is but I need to figure it out soon and get on the ball.

Anyways, that was just a bit of the manic Monday that the blog title speaks of. The rest has is in regards to my landlords. The people that I have been complaining to for over a year about a broken fence and sagging deck, and I'd venture to say, about 6 months about the leaky skylight. Let's not mention the million other things that are wrong with this house that I didn't feel were imperative to discuss with them since they couldn't get anything else taken care of. I had to take it upon myself to call RotoRooter (freakin ripoffs!) to unclog my drain and bill my landlords for it. It needed fixed... I couldn't do dishes with it clogged. Turns out there were two pieces of cloth stuck in there (I'm sure I've blogged about this before, but we all know how MY memory is LoL).

Again, I digress...

After taking the two oldest to school I ventured to Target for milk, cereal, cream cheese, batteries and packaging tape. I stopped for my usual Starbucks and let the kids get a cookie with their milks this morning because they were being extra well behaved. As I walked through Target I picked up the various things I needed and remembered a few other things I needed as well, like poster boards for our yard sale on Saturday and another pencil sharpener for Lexi (someone either steals hers, it doesn't work, or she has a secret stash of them behind her left ear... who knows). I also picked up a few things for the Easter Bunny. After all, I don't want him to get overwhelmed thinking about bringing 5 baskets to my kids next year like he did this year. I was upset at him for bringing so much candy and junk but it did make my kids happy and that's all that matters, right? Target had all their Easter stuff on clearance, 90% off. Plush baskets were 99 cents each, bags of robin eggs were only 16 cents and loads of other stuff was just as cheap, and CHEAPER!!! Yes! Cheaper than 1/10th of a dollar, actually. I also let Kadie pick out a new hair dye for me. She originally wanted it to be "Hot Tamale" but I nixed that real quick and commented that maybe we should go a little darker. "Like black?" my brilliant little 3 yr old questioned. Ummm, let me think for a second, NO! Atleast she understands the concept of darker LoL

We left Target shortly before 10, record time for us, and made it home just in time to have missed a friend stopping by with some papers for me. I searched all over the house for my missing phone and found it just in time. The landlady called. Jim would be in Savannah in two days and would like to come look at all the "problems" we have been having. She informed me they would be replacing the roof soon and then the deck and fence sometime after that. Great! NOW, they decide it's time to address all the problems we have been having... some since well over a year ago. Nice. So I agree to Wednesday, after all what do I do anyways but sit around watching soaps and eating Bon Bons(I actually don't even know what a Bon Bon tastes like, or even what it is... hmmm... and I rarely have time to watch soaps anymore).

After hanging up this is when the panic set in. I have had no motivation to do much of anything around here lately. My house is a wreck... the kids don't help me get it or keep it clean and how was I to do it all by myself in two days. I went a little overboard and posted to both my playgroups that I needed to recruit their help and I was on the verge of paying $350 to fly my sister down here to help me. I was desperate.

I did find a couple friends to help out and I don't think I need my sister but I was really freaking out for awhile there. It's my own fault for not keeping my house cleaned... but like the saying goes, "Cleaning your house while your kids are growing, is like shoveling your driveway while its still snowing." I completely agree and find myself cursing myself for cleaning something that the kids have a wreck within minutes of me walking out of the room. A clean floor is like a magnet for toys and socks and pieces of poptart. It's almost impossible to keep my house guest worthy. I'm almost always cleaning up until the moment they ring the doorbell.

We cleaned up until a little after 5 when my friend left to get us some Chick Fil A for dinner. That place is so freaking addicting. Today they were idiots though. My friend asked for mayo with my sandwich, there was none in the bag and none on the sandwich even though the cashier was joking with her about "extra extra mayo." FREAK!

After eating dinner, the kids played around a little bit and then the morning routine was reversed. Same stuff, different time. This time I get, "It's too dark, my stomach hurts, I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, Can I wear a skirt tomorrow?, Adam won't go to sleep, Can I sleep in your room?" Ugh, same crap, different night.

Anyways, I suppose I shouldn't be procrastinating (it's one of my many talents) but I can't keep disappointing my fans with no new blogs. That was my Manic Monday, hope you enjoyed reading that even Stay at Home Mom's don't like Monday's sometimes.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Rough Night

I didn't go to bed until midnight last night because I was up watching a movie and talking to Christina. Going to bed late always comes back to bite me in the ass. Last night it was a combination of kids, dogs and my husband. Ugh.

It all started with Kadie. She had gone to bed sometime after the first movie ended and I heard her crying. I told her to come out here and she did. She was really crying with lots of tears and she was drooling too. I thought she might be having some kind of episode or a bad dream and wasn't really awake. Usually when she gets up crying it's one of two things; she has to pee or she is having a bad dream and can't wake up. I asked her if she had to pee but she shook her head no. Not 10 seconds later, I knew she was lying. My leg was soaked! I'd been peed on by a 3 yr old that had been potty trained and night trained (on her own) almost a year ago. Yuck. I told her to get in the bathroom and change her clothes but I still think she wasn't quite awake because I found her asleep on the bedroom floor with her butt in the air just a couple minutes later.

Earlier in the day Scott's roommate brought Jack back because they can't keep him right now. Scott wants him back in June so I'm just doggy sitting until then. OMG that dog did nothing but whine the whole time he was in the caged area. Buckeye was just laying there trying to go to sleep, like he does every night but Jack just whined to get out. Then in the middle of the night, about 2am I hear a weird noise so I check on the dogs. I don't see what they were doing so I go back to bed and I hear it again. I sneak over this time hoping to catch them in the act. I did this time... it was Jack, of course. He was chewing on the cool cot (our dog house). Buckeye was laying in it trying to sleep and here is Jack chewing away on the velcro part, ugh. So I got up and put them outside. It wasn't cold or anything so no worries about that. I came back in to check my email and to see if John happened to be on, but he wasn't. Then I headed back to bed.

By 530 I was woken up again but this time by another crying kid. I put on my glasses and went to get up but I didn't hear him anymore so I thought I could just go back to sleep. I took off my glasses and I realized that Adam would probably start crying again as soon as my head hit the pillow. Right on cue, Adam started crying just as I lied back down and closed my eyes. I got my glasses and got back up. Adam usually only has two reasons for waking up in the middle of the night as well... one being he is scared of something, maybe a bad dream or a noise woke him up. And the other is he took off his diaper and has since peed in his bed. Yah, it was the latter. I took him out of bed, put a new diaper and new shorts on him and tried laying him down in the extra pack n play so I could go back to sleep. He was NOT having any of that. Surprisingly he didn't immediately climb out so I thought I could put the pack n play in front of the tv and he would go back to sleep. Ummm no, he just climbed right out. I got him to lay on the floor with his sippy cup and blanket and I closed the door.

I got back on the computer to see if John had been on at all. I'm assuming they are on blackout and I'm sure he is fine and will email or get back online when he gets a chance, but still I worry. So that kept me up and I wanted to make sure I wouldn't be hearing anymore from the kids or the dogs. Ha! As if THAT would happen.

Adam began crying again shortly after 6. He couldn't get out of the room for some reason so I had to go let him out. I picked him up and we both curled up in the recliner. Thank goodness he fell asleep and I did too, I was exhausted. Not too long later I woke up with a wet side. Oh no... the sippy cup he had to hold slipped out of his hand and turned upside down on my right side (Kadie peed on my left side in case you were wondering LoL). I got up to feed the dogs and when I came back Adam didn't want to go back to sleep so I got a Dora Marathon video I taped years ago for my older kids and put that in. That made him happy and got a little more sleep.

The other kids were up shortly there after and here it is 10am and Dora is going into hour 3. The kids are still satisfied... Sara is still content in bed... and I am still curled up in the recliner with a blanket I had Jacob get me because I was freezing. Couldn't possibly have anything to do with my wet shirt, you think?

Friday, March 28, 2008

My Little Soccer Stars

The kids started soccer last week. They had three practices before their game tonight. They played really well. The other team was kicking their asses though. It was 6 - 0 at half time. They went back in the second half and Lexi scored a goal, as did Samari and Elliot. Jacob played his little heart out. I bumped him up to play with Lexi so I didnt have to make so many trips down to Richmond Hill and Im so glad he can keep up with them. He runs just as fast when they are playing and he almost scored a couple times.

I am so proud of my babies. I didnt get any videos of them playing, I was the time keeper and the photographer. Jacob tried to do a video cause he played opposite of Lexi but he didnt do very good. He set it down while it was still recording so we have a nice video of the side of Lexi's shoe.

I took a whole bunch of pictures but I havent uploaded them to the computer yet. I was also asked to take team pictures sometime later in the season. The league has decided not to do pictures this year and left it up to individual teams to do them. The hottie coach noticed me taking pics at practice the other day and asked if I wouldnt mind doing the team pictures. I feel semi-professional, especially since I will be taking pictures at my brother's wedding next month, just wish I could get a hang of the manual focusing and all the different settings on my camera.

My friend watched the three little ones for me tonight so I wouldnt have to deal with them at the soccer game. Thank god for mommy friends! The gnats were insane and I'm sure I'd have been spending more time loading the little ones up on snacks and juice boxes instead of actually watching the game. I would have surely missed Lexi's goal. Which was really awesome by the way. She dribbled the ball almost all the way across the field and scored... everyone cheered cause it was our first goal of the game. Such a proud mommy moment.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Because it is THAT good

Wife: Honey, I could really go for a Caramel Macchiato right about now.

Husband: And what would you like me to do about it? There aren't even any Starbucks close to us.

Wife: Well I just happened to stumble across the location finder on their website and there is one just two exits up the highway. That's not that far and it could be my Easter present {hint hint}

Husband: Two exits up, huh? Isn't that the airport exit?

Wife: Ummm, yah... it's over in that area. So, will you go get me one??

Husband: Woman, you are insane. You didn't even have cravings like this when you were pregnant.

Wife: So is that a yes??? Please? I'll make it up to you later...

Husband: You're impossible. Pack up the kids and lets go take a drive to feed your addiction. You can run in and get it.

Wife: Ok, let's go.


Wife: Ok, honey, turn here.

Husband: Where exactly is this place?

Wife: Oh, it's just a little further up here.

Husband: Wait a minute! The only thing further up the road is the airport. Honey?!

Wife: Ummm, yah, about that... you could just drop me at the door and circle around the airport and I should be right back out.

Husband: You really are crazy. I never would have brought you to the airport for a stupid coffee.

Wife: Watch it mister, thems is fightin' words and possible grounds for divorce.

Husband: (noticing the evil in her eyes just nodded and drove away)

***My interpretation of how a true story played out***

Ok, this is how it really went...

They are at Lowe's and about to leave. Wife says, "Can we go to the airport?" Husband just shakes his head and laughs. Then they are driving and she thinks he is going to the airport... instead he takes a left onto the highway. Wife says, "You don't love me do you? I can't believe you won't go. I get nothing for Easter and you can't even get me my coffee." He laughs again and keeps driving. Then he pulls off at another exit... she knows then he is going the back way to the airport. Oh yes baby!.

So... wife gets her Starbucks (friggen more expensive in the airport dammit). Then they are driving home and husband puts his hand out like he wants a drink. She looks at him and he is shaking. Wife says "What the frick is wrong with you?" He says he is having withdrawals, he takes a sip and goes, "AHHHHH so much better." The pecker was making fun of her...

That's the story... and here's to Tuesday at the softplay... can't wait!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Grrr, Can anyone help???

I dont know why my blog is so narrow! I cant see all of my pics because of it. Anyone know how to fix this!?

Easter Bunny Mayhem

First and foremost, Happy Easter to all my loyal readers. Thank you for using my blog as a source of entertainment when you just need to laugh at another person's expense. I am glad I can be here for you.

Secondly, that damn Easter Bunny is on my shit list. Why, oh why, is mass amounts of chocolate and plastic grass a must every Easter? Next year I'm setting up a trap to catch that giant rabbit before he leaves anymore crap for my kids to drive me nuts with.

This year I threw something from me into the mix. Lexi and Adam needed scooters so Easter was my excuse to buy them for them. Lexi was ecstatic. She ran up to me and threw her arms around my neck and gave me a big wet kiss on my cheek. That was the only Easter gift I needed. It's been a long time since I've been thanked by my kids like that. Adam liked his too but was more interested in the chocolate. As was Sara more than her foam bowling set I bought her. Kadie and Jacob got hopper balls which need a foot pump to inflate so they will have to wait to use those til later when I venture out to the store again.

As for the crap the Bunny brought... The kids each received a different colored bucket with their names on them. Inside was a giant candy filled egg, a carrot shaped bag of Reese's pieces (how clever of that rabbit), two plastic straws with bunnies on them, an Easter themed washcloth and two handfuls of chocolate. He also hid 20 eggs in the den filled with Hershey Kisses and M&Ms. What the heck was that giant rodent thinking??? My kids are going to be eating chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner because I won't be able to get them to eat anything else.

Ahhh, the joys of keeping the magic alive in their hearts is equivalent to rotting their teeth, upsetting their stomachs and driving moms crazy all in a matter of minutes.

So you can get a feel for the true mayhem of this morning... here are before and after shots.

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Fun with Photobucket

I used to use this site all the time for my photo uploading needs. I would just upload to this site, resize then have the right code to post into whatever forum I wanted. Mostly it was used for BabyCenter and MySpace but it was being a PITA so I switched to DropShots.

After a friend told me about the new effects Photobucket has I decided to go play around with them. I now use Photobucket for entertainment purposes and now I will share my fun with you.


Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Color Rotater with White Vignette

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Pop Art

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Painting with Gold Border

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Old Photo

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Insert a Face

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books


Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Color Rotater with white and pink vignette

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Blurred Edges with Greyscale focal point in middle

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Friday, March 21, 2008

Confessions of a Starbucks Junkie

The first step is admitting I have a problem. Wait, that's an addiction. I don't have an addiction... just an overwhelming urge to have a white paper cup with a Starbucks logo in my left hand as I push the stroller or shopping cart with my right. No, not an addiction.

It didn't take me long to become a Starbucks junkie. I had never ordered from Starbucks before. Reading the menu was like trying to read Spanish... you can pick out a few words here and there but for the most part you have no idea what the frick it really says. I saw caramel and figured anything with caramel must be good. All it took was one sip of a tall Caramel Macchiato for me to become addicted... err... a fanatic. I don't really care for coffee but that was pretty good and after awhile that seems to be what you have a taste for.

I found myself only going to places that had a Starbucks. Target, Kroger and the mall were my three usual shopping centers. After making a few stops at the Kroger Starbucks a nice whatever-you-call-the-people-that-work-there offered me a cupholder that attached to the cart. WOW! So nice to be able to sit my coffee down and push with two hands. That didn't last long though since my 1 year old has her own addiction to the paper white cup with the Starbucks logo.

Over the holidays I actually ordered a muffin from there along with my Caramel Macchiato. A chocolate cream cheese filled muffin... mmmmm. Nothing like hot coffee, chocolate and day after Thanksgiving shopping with a great friend to make your day.

I've been trying new drinks so I can get a feel for what I like so I'm not always ordering the same thing. I tried a Vanilla Chai Latte but didn't really care for that. Just wasn't my cup of tea. The only other drink I've tried from there is a White Chocolate Mocha and OMG is that good. I would venture to say this is my new drink of choice but the only downfall is that it is too good. It does not taste like coffee one bit to me and I can pretty much chug a venti in 2 minutes flat. Do not attempt this. However good the drink is it will still upset your stomach to drink it that fast... trust me, I know. So I try to alternate between a Grande Caramel Macchiato and a Grande White Chocolate Mocha.

My kids have also become accustomed to going to Starbucks and request organic juice or milk. They seem to like it which surprised me and at almost $2 a pop its an expensive habit to be in. I just can't break myself away from that place.

The baked goods are always so good as well. I've had the cinnamon stick thing and the kids have had the m&m cookies, both were really good. I hear the butter croissants are popular, just haven't tried one. I wanted to try the Double Chocolate Brownie Cookie yesterday but decided that would be too much chocolate with my Venti White Chocolate Mocha that I got to hold me over on the drive to Port Wentworth. I thought about bringing along a spare for the friend I was going to see but knew if I brought one drink, I'd have to bring them all a drink. I mean, if you can't share with the whole class, right?

Earlier in the week I was looking forward to taking the kids to play at the mall play place just so I could get a coffee. I had to go to Target beforehand so thought I could get one there before heading over to the mall but I went with Christina's peer pressure to wait until we were at the other mall.

After letting the kids play for awhile they decided they were thirsty. Not wanting to give up my junkie status I headed straight to Starbucks. By this time I was sweating my butt off. It gets hot at the softplay with all those little devil children... errr... sweet kids running around. At Starbucks the kids all got Organic Vanilla Milk and I ordered a Caramel Macchiato and Chocolate Cream Cheese Muffin (which I had to share with my theiving children). The funny thing was, I didn't even want a coffee but I couldn't help myself. I couldn't lose my junkie status and I was already there. How could I NOT order a coffee when they were right there, calling my name. It was good but man... I was sweating even more after that drink and half full before I even had lunch.

Damn you Starbucks, damn you!

psst... see you Monday ;)


Tuesday, March 18, 2008

My Sister is Gonna Kick Ass

I dont know who all reads this. I know some friends do and my mother in law... but not sure if anyone in my family really reads it. I think it might do them some good to see what I have to say about my sister, so I hope they do catch this.

I have never been one to be loving with my sister. We are 2 1/2 yrs apart and we have fought on more occassions than I even care to remember. From hair pulling and chair kicking to fists flying and nails scratching. There may even have been a shoe or two thrown, who knows. We werent even that much alike. There were times Id swear we werent full blood.

She was always a tomb boy. Still is pretty much but she has grown up some. She played with the boys, played rough and could kick my ass (only by laying on the couch and using her feet though and if I didn't let her then what kind of big sister am I). I was always the girly girl. I had tons of boyfriends and was into makeup and all that earlier than she was. I was also the oldest child... had the most independence and she was stuck as the middle child. She is a classic one, at that.

Anyways, the point of this blog is because my sister is 24 now. She is growing up. She finally has some friends that she can hang out with that arent just there because she plays softball with them or that coach her. She had a great job that she busted her ass at but they kicked her to the curb without so much as a warning. Blindsided by a two faced bitch. I could slap her silly for making a tough girl cry. She still really hasnt had a relationship but she has had her encounters with, let's call them, boys. Having fun... being young, she doesn't have the responsibilities that I do so she has that freedom to do those things.

On the other hand... she has been handed everything for so long that she doesnt know how to go get for herself. I blame my mom, my dad, my stepmom, her former softball coach, my mom's cousin, my aunt, maybe myself too... just a little though. Most of these people have given to her a place to live, a job, a car. But did they do it to help her... or did they do it to help themselves? Let's see... for the most part they did it to help themselves. They all wanted something in return. I did at one point too. I may have taken advantage just like all these other people but I think I help my sister way more than anyone else. Ive given her a place to stay, a phone to keep in contact with everyone, money for bills or just things she wants, Ive taken her to dinner because I wanted her to go with me. We are practically best friends and friends dont use each other. Family isnt supposed to use each other either yet it happens all the time in this one.

Ive just got one last thing to say... the time is coming when my sister realizes that she is growing up. She is in her mid 20's and she wont be young forever. She knows now that she is being and has been taken advantage of for too long now. She is strong enough to stand on her own two feet if she just gives it a chance. She is having too much fun right now to see too far ahead of her but I promise it's not going to take long. She will find the right direction to head in and when she does everyone better watch out. She isnt going to take your crap anymore. She is going to stand up for herself and what she believes in. She is going to find the person that she wants to be and she is gonna be it. April is gonna kick ass!

Friday, March 14, 2008

To Confirm Your Suspicion...

Yes, I am weird. Listen to this dream I had last night.

I took all 5 of my kids trick or treating by myself. I was pushing Sara, Adam & Kadie in the stroller and Lexi and Jacob were walking. Somehow we got split up. I went up a hill and the kids walking went down a street on the right. All of a sudden Lexi and Jacob come running up to me screaming that Lexi almost got hit by someone's car door. I yelled at them for wandering off and asked them what they were doing. Lexi said she was letting some kid drink her juice and he wouldn't give it back. I yelled at her again that she knew better, what was she thinking. We headed back down the hill and onto the next house. There were tons of people gathered around as we were walking by. These people were giving out scissors! The kids were throwing them in the air and people were walking by and taking one off the ground. I was so pissed that they would give those out for a Halloween treat and that they were throwing them around. I had babies in my stroller and they could have gotten hurt. We moved onto the next house and I was bitching to this lady. They were handing out little samples of cough drops. Not much better. So we decided to head home. The kids were mad because they only got a few things but I didn't care, I was done. We get home and I am yelling at them because they are mad that they have to come home when I see John sitting over at the neighbor's with his cousin. I scream at him and he says "What?" and laughs. I tell him not to "what" me and to get his ass over here now. He comes over and I just scream at him for being such an asshole. I said, "You were just going to sit over there listening to me yell at the kids and not come and help me, thanks!" Apparently he took Lexi and Jacob back out trick or treating with no costumes on. While he was gone his cousin came over to pick up some things. He picked up a pair of his shorts (daisy duke style) and I said, "Oh sorry, I borrowed those and something spilled on them. Hope it comes out." He said not to worry about it and went on his way. When John came back he had three huge bags full of stuff.

This part ends but then somehow we end up in the forest. There is a gorilla, our puppies, and a lab that looks like a black wolf. One lady that was with us actually walked up to pet the gorilla. As we were watching him he took a dump and proceeded to eat it. Nice, huh? We figured out that the lab was really nice and trained. I told him to sit, and he did so I gave him a treat. I told him to lie down and he did, so I gave him another treat. My sister asked which kind I was giving him, they were pumpkin flavored. She assured me that those kind were good but the one kind was nasty. Apparently her and the kids were eating them, yuck! All of a sudden I had driven to Windy's house but her yard was like a car junkyard. There were cars everywhere. When I pulled in, I took the only spot available and realized that she wasn't home so I better move. While I was trying to maneuver the car around I got stuck. A really hot fireman saw me and pulled over to help. We moved around some kids toys and were throwing peanuts over the fence into the garbage can. He was flirting with me so when Windy got home I invited him in. He put his arm around my waist and kissed me. I told him he had to go. He asked if I could come back the next weekend but I wasn't sure. He left and apparently so did Windy. It was just me, my sister and the wolf lab. I had the dog do some more tricks and then I found a bag of chips on the floor and hid in the laundry room to eat them. They were Windy's and she really liked the ones with lots of seasoning on them. I ate all the really good ones before she got home and told her I owed her a bag of chips. Good thing she likes me or else she might have been pissed.

That part ended and I was behind the scenes of American Idol. This one girl was on stage singing and she starts singing to this ugly fat guy that doesn't even look at her. He looks right into the camera. She then pulls him on stage to dance with him and he tries to take off her sweater so she kicks him off the stage. She then goes into how he is a fat ass and calling him all kinds of names. The other contestants behind the stage were all dressed in St. Patrick's Day get up. Some had togas on, others had tuxes on. They were all super excited that she was getting no love from the audience. She got to sing again right away and everyone was in total shock at how good she was. They were being really mean trying to make her trip or screw up. They were all so cruel and coniving that I went to find Paula to ask her if I could go talk to the other judges. She said she heard what happened and she missed me. She wishes I'd come back. I told her if things changed then I might be. I headed back to the judges loft and found Randy & Simon. I called for Randy, but called him Andy and he and Simon came over. As I started telling them about the incidents I saw this girl from my past popped up. Apparently she was one of the judges or a producer or something. She didn't understand what my problem was. She said this made the show what it was and they weren't going to kick anyone off for trying to better their own chances. Randy said they would look into and see what they could do. Simon promised it would be better for when they started again in August 2008. I said if it was better then I might be back then. I left to find Paula to let her know what was said.

That is when I woke up...

Now y'all think I'm totally crazy! LoL Maybe I should start analyzing my dreams in my blog. HA!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Here Comes the Bride (again)

John and I have always talked about renewing our vows one day. We were married on May 10th 2002 when our oldest was a year and a half old. We started dating on February 29th 2000. We were originally supposed to be married February 28th 2003 but pushed up the wedding for many reasons. Looking back, I think we should have just stuck with it.

Our plan was to renew our vows when we had been together for 20 years. For some time now I have been thinking about leap year in 2020. What colors would we use? Where would we renew our vows? Will I have attendants and who would they be? Who will actually come?

John and I had a pretty rough time recently but we made it through together. We both feel we are stronger than ever and can not wait to renew our vows. John would have preferred to renew them every leap year but I thought that would be a bit excessive. It would seem that every time we turned around we would be renewing our vows. Not that that is a bad thing but it's not something we could afford and I'm sure everyone else would think it was tacky.

We came to a mutual decision to renew our vows after having been together for 10 years. On February 28th 2010 we plan on celebrating our marriage with our friends and family. I originally had wanted to renew our vows in a warmer climate since it will be the dead of winter in Ohio but since the 28th is a Sunday we think somewhere around Toledo would be best for everyone. It's not really the location that matters anyway. Anywhere would be perfect so long as it's with John and our families.

I have already started planning for our renewal ceremony. I've been researching locations and thinking about color schemes and dresses. I loved my real wedding but I want to relish in the planning of one. I was six months pregnant the first time and I rushed through the planning in just 2 short months. I now have two years to plan. I'm also not looking to have a traditional wedding. I'm considering wearing a black dress even with a white or ivory sash, what do you think? I know what my family would say... but that could make up it's own post.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Boobs, Sex and Flat Daddy

Three elements needed for an outrageous mom's night in.

I hosted a mom's night at my house last night with some girls from my Cool Savannah Moms playgroup. These girls are just too freakin' hilarious.

If you ever wonder what moms talk about... stop. There is no way you could possibly fathom the conversations that come out of 6 women with no children or husbands present. Throw in a couple drinks and you've got a recipe for hilarity (is that even a word?).

I had a great time with my new friends. They are funny and sweet and rude and bitchy and Starbucks Junkies and honest and caring and they totally rock! They know how to have a good time and I was blessed with obedient children at least for the night.

Can't wait to do it again girls! See you on Wednesday so "Wii" can play!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

What to write... what to write...

I was going to write about Passion Parties and sex toys and the like but then I remembered my mother in law reads my blog. Not that she doesn't know where babies comes from (and I have 5 of them) but still... definitely not something I feel like sharing with her or any other family member that may be reading this.

So instead I'm going to write about what I'm doing up before 6am while all my kids are still sound asleep.

Seems I wake up naturally by 530 every morning now. Which also means I'm tired by 830 every night. Thank goodness for Tivo or else I'd never get to watch anything. Although I haven't watched much of anything at lately anyways especially with no new shows on but I digress. So usually I get up and feed the puppies and have the urge to clean something. Yesterday morning I put some laundry in the dryer and then unloaded and loaded the dishwasher.

This morning however I am way too tired to have the urge to do anything. Why am I not sleeping then? Because I've woken up every hour since 1am. When I would fall back asleep after checking the time on my phone I would instantly go back to dreaming. I was tired of my last dream and tired of looking at my phone every hour so I got up hoping that John was online. No luck there...

So wanna hear about my dreams?

I remember in one of them I looked at my phone and it was 815am on a Saturday. I looked out my window and my neighbors were having another yard sale so I decided, "What the hell, I'll bring out my stuff too. Take advantage of the yardsalers she will have coming to her house." So I start bringing stuff outside to sell and I wake up.

The last one I was having... we were at Universal, I believe. John's parents and brother were with us and apparently we only had 1 child with us, Sara. John and I were waiting in line to ride The Mummy. I was holding Sara and David (John's brother) was in front of us. We are following the line that is moving pretty quickly and before we realize it we are walking in some kind of store or mall that was connected to the ride. We think we are following the group that was in front of us but now we don't see anyone in line. I then realize that I don't have Sara anymore and David wasn't around so I assume that he took Sara from me and I just don't remember because I have such a terrible memory. So we keep walking trying to find our way onto the ride when we I see John's dad. "There's your dad!" I say and John shushes me. He doesn't want his dad to see us for some reason. His dad looks really peeved about something and I see him check his cellphone then make a call. I assume he is trying to find his wife. We then run into my sister, April. She asked how the ride was and I told her we didn't get to ride because we lost the line somehow. She told us to go back up the stairs and it was to the right, we turned the wrong way. We head back up the stairs looking around for the line again and an official looking lady yells for us, "Hey, you guys need to come with me." We go with her and that is when I see Sara in a play area. They found her. We get in an elevator and this woman tells us that we will not be able to get Sara back until the next day due to a few issues we had the day before, one of them being taking Sara on a train. I was livid. I had no idea what train she was talking about. John said it may have been the bus driver that yelled at us saying there were no babies in Pull-Ups allowed on board. My sister had a few choice words for him and pissed him off. In the middle of the night I went looking for Sara and there she was in the same spot in the play area as earlier. She was wearing only a Pull-Up, a soaken wet one at that. I picked her up, then went looking for John. He was just waking up.

That is why I didn't want to go back to bed even though I'm tired as all get out. Forty-five minutes to an hour of sleep while dreaming just doesn't cut it. Half the time it feels so real I swear I'm not dreaming until I actually wake up. It makes for a long, long night.

And yes, I know I'm weird (i.e. have weird dreams).

Monday, March 3, 2008

Customer Service These Days Sucks

I swear, you can't go anywhere and get a nice smile and an easy return. Or even a decent amount of onion rings or a yogurt from Wendy's. After the incident at Applebee's I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

A friend recently tried returning a stroller that she was not comfortable using with her son. The man she talked to made the decision for her that her son looked comfortable enough in the stroller and would not allow her to return it. {GASP}

Then this evening I took the kids to Wendy's. I didn't make it to the grocery store today so there was still nothing in the fridge and I hadn't taken anything out of the freezer to cook so it was another drive thru night for us. I ask the kids if they would prefer a healthy snack of oranges or yogurt with their kids meals and Kadie wanted yogurt. Of course they no longer offer that... yet, it is STILL on their freakin' menu. How hard is it to remove or cover up so that people aren't expecting that item??? Oh, and I hear the man at drive thru tell the people behind me that baked potatoes were going to take 20 minutes. Needless to say, they drove off without ordering anything.

Lexi didn't want Wendy's, she wanted Burger King so since it was right across the street I let her have her way. I wanted to get something to go along with my 5 pc nuggets and chili from Wendy's but wasn't sure what I really wanted. Onion rings sounded good and they have a small listed on their dollar menu, perfect. NOT! I pull out the little bag to find THREE onion rings in it. Are you kidding me??? That is all the onion rings I get? Nope... I found some in the bottom of the bag. A whole TWO more... woohoo! 5 whole onion rings for $1. That's 20 cents per ring. WTF are they thinking??? So I'm trying to figure out if this is the norm and they are always ripping people off or if it's just me. My luck, it's just me. And to top it off, they tasted like rubber. Thank god for bbq sauce.

Attack of the Birds

How I forgot this little bit when I was talking about birds in my last blog, is beyond me.

I ventured to Target with the three little ones. It seems to be a common errand I run at least once a week. After the bird in the moonroof incident I remembered to close the windows this time. The birds are territorial around these parts.

I was loading the kids back up into the van when I made a crucial mistake. I decided to take this opportunity to purge the carseats of the plethora of crumbs they had acquired over the last week or 12. It was as if the birds could hear the crumbs flying through the air as they waited to pounce on them. Yes, pounce. Like the cute little vicious dinosaurs on Isla Sorna that attacked the little rich girl.

These birds were fearless. The inched closer to the car in hopes of grabbing more french fry and Goldfish remnants from the floor of my van. I jumped in the van to buckle in the kids and closed the sliding door behind me. I was terrified for my life... well maybe not my life, but I wanted to keep all my fingers and my eyes too.

The birds were swarming. I didn't need anymore birds in my car especially with all of us in it. I jumped up into the front seat like the little boy in Jurassic Park and closed the door. Literally, I felt as if I was stuck right in the middle of that movie when I could hear the birds clawing at the top of my van.

So maybe they weren't clawing, just landing and walking around, but still. It sounded freaky. Moments later, Kadie burst with joy at the sight of the birds flying away. Most likely in pursuit of another crumb laden minivan. That poor mom!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

The Week or Last Two In Review

This past week has been a bit crazy. I've had a couple incidents with birds, a yard sale with some crazy people and had to empty the contents of my fridge this morning. Are you ready? I hope so... hold on tight, it's gonna be a wild ride. Ok, so maybe I'm exaggerating... but still, read it, and have a laugh at my expense.

Sometime last week... Monday maybe, no it was more like last Friday. I went to the mall. It was a nice day out so I had my moon roof open. I forgot to close it when I went into the mall and didn't think much of it. When I came back out to the car I noticed a bird flying around my van. We always have tons of birds around but this one was acting really weird. That's when I noticed that it was IN my van. It was trying to get out through the windshield. I don't know how long it was in there but at that point all that mattered was getting it out. So I open up the driver side door, trying to show it how to get out. It just kept flying into the windshield... must have the "If at first you don't succeed" mentality. A second later he flies into the passenger side window... ummm duh, that door is closed dummy. I've got my kids strapped into the stroller still waiting to be put in the car and a man walks by staring at us so I say, "There's a bird in my car" all nonchalantly like it happens all the time. I then walk over to the passenger side door to open it and the bird flies back out the moonroof. Why he couldn't do that in the first place is beyond me LoL I quickly check the car for any presents he left behind and I found two tiny spots. Not so bad, so he must not have been in there too long. I'm just glad he didn't die in my car by breaking his neck on the windshield or something. Damn bird!

Monday rolls around and Lexi comes home from school with a headache. Yah, as if her best friend Ashley coming home had NOTHING to do with it. I had already made a drs appt for the three little ones for their coughs and goopy eyes so I had to take her along. It was at 220 and knowing drs I figured I better pick up Jacob too incase I wasn't home in time. Its a good thing I did because we were there until 5pm. Turns out all 5 of my kids have strep and the dr says I should get checked out too. I was secretly hoping she would just call me in a prescription along with the kids' just to be on the safe side. But I guess being a pediatric dr that would look kinda fishy.

Tuesday the kids wouldn't be able to go to school... damn, I was gonna miss playgroup. I felt bad cause I had organized it. My sink was still clogged so I couldn't wash any dishes to make the kids lunch so we went to grab pizza at the mall. I figured as long as we weren't touching or interacting with anyone we would be fine. Hope the couple sitting next to us didn't get coughed on too much... kidding people.

Wednesday was another weird day. The kids were back in school and I had a drs appt at 340 which meant I had rush out the door to pick up the kids at school early since I had no babysitter. Yay, 5 kids at Tuttle where they have a play area that is supposed to be a positive thing but when you've got 5 kids that just want to play... it's not such a nice idea. I was walking out the door to put the kids in the car when I kicked something. I looked down and hopping away was a little bird. It was very pretty and looked injured. I didn't do it people... it had to have already been injured or I never would have been able to kick it. So I put the kids in the car and came back in the house to ask John what I should do (he was on instant messenger). He didn't know so I took a couple pictures of the bird... cause it was so pretty... and then just left it there. I felt bad since there are about 276 cats in my neighborhood but I had to go. The kids drove me nuts in my appt and I was so ready to get out home that I forgot to stop and get my prescription filled. She didn't check me for anything just gave me some antibiotics and told me to slow down. HA! Who is she kidding? When I pulled in the driveway I saw the poor bird dead... damn. I didn't know what to do or who to call, so I felt really bad.

When we left Thursday morning the bird was gone. We had playgroup so I had to take the kids to school then get some ingredients for my 7 layer dip. It ended up only be 6 layers though cause I was too lazy to cut the tomatoes. I was already running late. It started at 1030 and I left my house at 1032. I drove like a maniac to get there. It was a nice turn out, lots of moms were there and they LOVED my dip so much. We cleaned the whole thing up... had they not been being conservative I'm sure a couple of them would have been licking the casserole dish. I suppose that will probably be requested from now on LoL

Friday I had to clean up a bit since I had a couple people coming over to bring stuff for Saturday's yardsale. Little did I know, it was the day of deliveries. It was my 8 yr anniversary and I was expecting my laptop from Dell that my husband ordered for me. The doorbell rang and it was Kelly bringing over some yardsale stuff. Then about an hour later Heather with some yardsale stuff. An hour after that I thought this time it was my laptop, but it wasn't. It was another gift from my husband... a new anniversary bouquet of flowers. They were gorgeous and I was on webcam with him when I got them so he got to see my reaction. He has been spoiling me so much since he was home. He better not break this habit any time soon... I'm really enjoying it LoL Probably another hour later I got another delivery... still not my laptop. This time it was a baby gate. A much needed one for my doorway since my door broke and it would cost $200 for another one. The gate and a curtain will suffice for now though. It gets the job done. My laptop finally arrived around 630... yay! I didn't even open it though cause I was too tired to set it up and what not. So I just left the box on the couch waiting for me. At 9 the doorbell rang again. No idea who it could have been but I was thinking maybe it was Bonnie since Ashley had called shortly before that but it wasn't. It was the neighbor bringing over a couple tables for the next days yard sale. Much needed tables, at that.

I got up on Saturday at 430. The dogs wanted out and since my alarm was set for 5 I decided to just stay up. I cleaned the living room, the kitchen, the den, the dining room, the bathroom and the hallways all by about 6. Plus I checked my email and all of my groups. I was very productive. I sat back down at the computer waiting for the sun to come up before being able to bring stuff outside. I was barely done bringing my stuff out when I had two customers pull up. The lady spent over $30 and the guy spent $15. Not bad for 2 customers at 730 in the morning. Tiffany showed up as they were finishing up so I could start bringing Heather and Kelly's things out. Heather arrived shortly after Tiffany and she must have looked friendly because everyone bombarded her with payment and questions. Kelly and Brittini finally arrived and we got most of the stuff out and organized. The toys sold pretty well... clothes on the other hand did not. This one lady wanted to buy Heather's 30 gallon tub of baby girls clothes sized 0-9mths for only $5. Heather asked if she would go any higher and she said, "6?" Heather was in shock, still being bombarded by customers and trying to think. She blurted out, "$7.50?" The lady counteracted with $7. WTH is 50 cents??? We were all so glad at the end of the day that the lady didn't take it for $7.50 and that Heather didn't let her have it for $7 cause she ended up making more money off the items she actually sold from the bucket which wasn't even half of what was in there. Later in the day a woman came with her infant and (I'm guessing) 3 yr old. Her boy was good at first, no one really noticed him. Then it was time for them to leave. The boy was screaming... "Let go of me. Don't touch me. I'm not ready to go." I offered my help since she had the infant in one hand and was trying to get her son to come with her in the other hand. I've been there, embarrassed as hell and everyone just staring. I almost said, "This isn't a free show people, go about your business." but I didn't. I recognized the look on her face when she turned down my help, at least I would if I looked in the mirror when I was having one of those moments. I can only imagine what some of those people were thinking watching this unfold. She somehow managed to make it to her car with both her kids which was parked a good three houses down the street. She got the baby in the car and I'm assuming while she was doing this is when her son took off. The next thing I hear is the little boy screaming, "Stay away from me! I don't want to leave." and he is running back towards my house with his mom in fast pursuit. I didn't watch but I saw the horror on one older couple's faces and I may be mistaken but I swear I heard her whop him a good one. That boy was in for it when he got home. I know that. All in all the yardsale went well. My pink Bumbo didn't sell for the measly $10 it was priced at even though about 8 or 10 people asked about it. My brand new infant carseat didn't sell either, until the end when we were the customers and Brittini snagged it at that great price. I took all of Heather's leftover VHS tapes, a movie and a game from Brittini and a couple cookbooks from Tiffany. Tiffany raided my baby clothes and all the boys clothes I had went to Brittini. I got rid of a bunch of stuff... although I'm not sure what I really sold. I made a total of $119. No one wanted my free adorable puppy and Wyatt was testing his mom's nerves when he ran straight out into the street after she said, "Don't you dare step foot on that pavement!" We both ran like bats out of hell. The kids were very well behaved and all played well together. It was a fun day... it got hot too! Can't wait for the next one.

Oh, and the RotoRooter guy came by yesterday as well. He had some nice bling going on in his mouth {insert eye roll} Told me it was gonna cost me $120 to snake my pipes... come one you pervs, not like that! So in the middle of the yardsale I get snaked out of $120 for two pieces of CLOTH stuck in my pipes. Who the hell puts cloth down the drain? I KNOW it was not me or one of my kids because it is nothing that we use. The cloths are too small to be my antibacterial wipes and they aren't baby wipes. They look more like dryer sheets and we don't use those, never have. So you better believe I'm sending my receipt with my reduced rent check. I am not paying for it!

I woke up this morning at 430. The dogs needed food and water so I walked into the kitchen to fill their bowl to find my fridge standing wide open. OMG, how long was it open for? My best guess, 9 hours. The milk was as warm as cat piss and the whole fridge would have to be emptied. Including but not limited to... the milk, a 5lb roll of hamburger, 4 bags of shredded cheese, a brand new pack of sliced cheese, hot dogs, orange juice, eggs and all the kids' antibiotics. DAMMIT!!! I hope the pharmacy can give me more without a prescription. I don't need strep coming back into our house. Thank god my kids can survive on juice and poptarts for a day cause I'm not grocery shopping with all 5 of them. Now if I could just get them to clean up this disaster of a house this day might turn out to be not so bad after all. HA! Now, who am I kidding?

So that is my crazy week... how was yours?

Saturday, March 1, 2008

To The Newbies

Hey people! If you are new to my blog I just want to let you know that if you read ALL the way back to the beginning you may start to get confused with the names.

I started calling my kids extra small, small, medium, large and extra large. Then that morphed inot their nicknames of Lou, Monkey, Wadie, Munchie and Mac. Even further it was then L, JC, K, A, S and J for hubby.

I myself started to lose track of what they were "supposed" to be called so I have since used real names for them. I suppose it doesnt even really matter what I call them... the posts are still freakin funny.