Monday, December 24, 2007

Everything Happens for a Reason

While driving to Ohio on Friday there was a sign that told of a McDonalds at the next exit. It was lunch time, my kids were starving and the van could use a fill up so I decided to stop for lunch and gas. I get off the exit and notice there is an arrow pointing to the right underneath the McDonalds logo. I didnt notice the 6 centimeter words underneath that which read (what I am assuming was) 5 miles!!!

Yup, I missed that little bit of information and wouldn't you know there was no where to turn around. We were driving down a road with a median and McDonalds was no where in sight. I kept driving until I saw another sign that said "McDonalds Straight Ahead." At this point I figured I might as well keep going.

We finally made it there after going through two more traffic lights and I was really agitated. I mean, seriously, what possessed them to advertise a McDonalds at the exit when it wasn't really at the exit. I had to drive 10 miles out of the way just to get McDonalds and then there was a huge line of traffic blocking the gas station so I decided to wait a while on that. All I could think was, "I have to write a blog about the insanity of this."

That was until I reached a traffic jam... you are probably thinking, why did that change her mind??? Well, I will tell you.

It didn't take long to get traffic moving along again, maybe 15 minutes or so. And honestly, at the time I didn't put two and two together. I thought my luck was just being really crappy for the day. Afterall, I was the idiot that wanted to drive 12 hours with 5 kids from warm and sunny Georgia to cold and snowy Ohio.

I later realized though that everything happens for a reason. There was an accident on the expressway, that was the hold up. Had I not had to drive 10 miles out of my way and stop at another gas station further up the highway then I very well could have been in that accident.

It is not always apparent to see in the moment but we always have to remember there is a plan. It may seem pretty crappy at times and it may not be the plan you were hoping for but everything happens for a reason.

A similar thing happened to me just the other night. I went out to dinner with my sister and my kids. Our server sucked, to say the least, and we had to wait a really long time for them to make more soup. I still tipped him more than 10% because my kids did make a decent sized mess on the floor though. Anyways, on my way home I got stopped in traffic yet again. I seriously sat at a stand still for 45 minutes. I only knew there was an accident because I could see about 4 or 5 sets of flashing lights and a tow truck went zooming past me in the breakdown lane.

Do you see where I am going with this story??? Had we not had crappy service I could have been driving with my five kids at the time of the accident. I could have been in that accident and I am so greatful that it took me an hour to drive just a few miles rather than to have something happen to me or one of my children in a car accident.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Bah Humbug

I usually cannot wait for the holidays to get here. I love shopping for other people and wrapping presents and seeing their faces when they open them. I don't even mind if I don't get anything for Christmas because I am more about giving... as the holiday season suggests. This year however I wish I could have been selfish.

J is deployed and I have been doing the shopping with the three small fries while the bigs are at school. It was extremely difficult shopping this year so I didn't enjoy it as much as I usually do. I didn't really know what to get the kids as I was trying to keep toys at a minimum. I also did not know what to get the in laws. I hope they appreciate the thought I put into their gifts. I just want not really in the shopping spirit this year.

I also was not in the wrapping spirit. In an attempt to save the earth I was using newspaper and old bags to package gifts. I only used 1 roll of wrapping paper for family gifts... don't expect Santa to be green this year though. He is planning on using 5 different kinds of wrapping paper and lots of tape.

Yesterday we drove from Warner Robins, GA to Maumee, OH. A trip that should have taken just over 12 hours took us 15 1/2. For starters, we left an hour late after I was procrastinating. I had no desire to leave or to drive with 5 kids across 4 states. I would have stayed home this Christmas if I could have but my kids (and my in laws) would have no part of that. Bathroom breaks took us 1/2 an hour and dinner took about 2 hours. Ugh, it was not a fun drive. More about that in a later blog though as I rant about fast food signs and the seemingly endless drive in the middle of nowhere to find said fast food.

We are staying at my in laws... I love them, I really do. I just feel like I constantly have to be on my kids about every little thing and with barely a voice left as it is, it is stressing me beyond relief. Thank goodness for Lexapro! I'm not sure we would all make it through the week. At least if J was here I could lock myself in the bathroom for a while so he would HAVE to deal with the kids. Although it never works out that way, it seems. His parents always seem to take over for him or they take control of the kids if we are "arguing" over who's turn it is to change a diaper. So much for getting J to take care of his kids (sorry honey, I know you are reading but it is true).

I can already tell this Christmas is going to suck. Despite the fact that my husband is on the other side of the world and won't be home for another month, I have to deal with my family. I probably won't go to my mom's side of the family's Christmas since it is on Christmas night. That always conflicts with spending Christmas with my father in law's side of the family. Since J can't be there, I thought the least I could do is be there with my kids. That should be better than spending Christmas with a family that will ask me if I am pregnant or make some other comment that has nothing to do with me looking good despite the fact I look hot as hell.

So, on that note. Bah Humbug!!!

All I Want For Christmas

No, it's not my two front teeth. Unless of course Windy makes me smell a stinky diaper and busts them out... but that is highly unlikely.

Christmas is fast approaching and I am still getting requests for what I want for Christmas. I have been thinking long and hard (ok maybe not that long and it wasn't really hard) about what I really want. Something that is just for me because apparently I cannot be mom all the time.

There is plenty that I want like an Ipod and a laptop that would be just for me but those don't seem to jump out at me as really, truly wanting this Christmas. I got my Canon Rebel as an early Christmas present and I'm sure my husband will be getting me some sexy lingerie for when he is home on leave but what is it that I really want for Christmas? What is it that would just put the biggest smile on my face, warm my heart, and possibly be the best gift ever?

After thinking about this for about 5 minutes. Yah, it was an easy decision. This is what I cannot live without this holiday season.

1. To sleep in until 10am (or later)
2. To take a nice hot shower with no interruptions (no flushing toilets, no screaming kids, no tiny taps on the door)
3. A whole day to veg in my pjs, watching a good chick flick, eating chinese and not having to do a thing around the house
4. Did I mention no kids
5. A clean house so that I won't have any problems sitting on my ass all day
6. A nanny or a maid... preferably both
7. The most wanted thing on my list... my husband to be home! To rub my feet and my back and to spend time with his kids. To see them open their Christmas presents, to kiss me on the neck and to do the dishes.

A price cannot be put on my list, save for the nanny & maid but you get my point. I want a priceless Christmas. I don't want another necklace that I won't wear (well there are two I want), a pair of jeans that don't fit (although I do need more jeans after losing all this weight), or anything chocolate covered (these would come in handy when Aunt Flo comes to visit though).

All I want for Christmas is to be Bri again, just for one day.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

The Things Kids Say

I know I posted a couple in my last blog but here I sit at 7am and my almost 7 year old makes me laugh.

L is cleaning her room this morning and she comes out to ask me a question...
"Mom, where's Jacob?"
"He's in my bed, why?"
"I need his help. He's an under bed person."

Ok, so it doesn't seem quite as funny as I type it out but you have to know that JC is the only one that ever cleans out underneath the beds. He will go all the way under to get the lego in the far corner and he won't miss a thing. L just isn't an under the bed person. Like me, it freaks her out LoL

I'm not sure I shared this sweet little comment made by my 3yr old, if I did, I apologize.

About a month or so ago the kids had upset me terribly right before bed. K sleeps with me so we went to bed and I buried my head in my pillow. I began to cry, uncontrollably. I was trying to be quiet but K still heard.

She says, "Don't cry mom. Moms don't cry, only kids cry."

Speaking of crying... I'm not sure what brought this on, but yesterday JC told me that I don't cry.

Me "I do cry, just not in front of you."
JC "Nuh-uh! You fake cry but you don't really cry because you don't have tears."
Me "Yes I do. I just cried the other day."
JC "Nuh-uh! You don't cry, you just fake cry."

This led to an argument between the girls and JC about me crying. I'm still not sure he believes it.

The kids are supposed to be getting dressed for school.

I tell them, "You aren't following directions."
To which L replies, "Maybe it went in one ear and out the other."

J also thought his GameBoy needed cleaning. He walked off with his GameBoy in hand and I hear the water running in the bathroom. I just knew what he was doing.

"J!! NO!!!"
Almost in tears from me yelling, "But why? It's dirty!"

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


If you happened to notice something different about my blog then you have been very observant. Ok, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see the colors have changed... but did you notice the title!!!! I just wasn't feeling the old title. This one seems to suit me well and Im going with it.

For the last 4 months we have been expecting daddy to be home the beginning of January. Looks like the Army decided they had other plans. J won't be home for another month now. I was pissed when I found out. I was ready to get on the phone to his commander and demand those assholes let my husband come home before the pricks that just put in their leave requests a month ago.

I wasn't worried so much about myself. I've dealt with this, I know how things can change last minute with the Army. After all, if the Army wanted you to have a wife they would have issued you one. But try explaining to a 6 year old that daddy is going to once again miss her birthday. Try explaining that he has to work later than we expected and that all the plans we already made have to be switched around. She literally cried when I told her.

I also cried... while I was putting some Christmas presents in my closet thinking about how much more time I have to do this alone. How much longer I have to tell my children that daddy will be home soon but soon never seems to come.

Don't get me wrong, there is so much that is great about this life but these heartaches make it so damn hard to get through each day with a positive attitude. I always have to look to my kids to see the good that can come from situations.

L: "But I don't want to dad to miss my birthday."
Me : "I know, I don't want him to miss mine either."
JC: "Well, he already missed MY birthday!"
So very, very true...

I was upset about finding out that we would have to wait longer for J to be home with us. L was still bummed but quickly bounced back as she said, "well, we do have longer to get the house cleaned now!"
Again, so very, very true...

What would I do without these amazing kids of mine? I know I complain alot about them but I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. We have our good days and we have our bad days, but such is my life!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Stranger to Blogdom

If you have been wondering where I have been (which I highly doubt), here I am!

Things have been kind of crazy around here. Not that they aren't always crazy but crazier than usual with Christmas, school, playgroups, John coming home, and everday mundane tasks. It has really taken a toll on me and my brain has just been fried.

My baby girl turned 1 just 6 days ago! Before you ask... NO! I'm not pregnant yet, nor do I plan to be ever again. I have to admit I miss being pregnant... I just don't want anymore kids. Five is definitely enough for me (for now atleast). It is so strange to think that next year my youngest will be 2. Only one of my kids has ever reached the age of 2 before becoming an older sibling. That was J and had I not had a miscarriage in July 2003 then there wouldnt be two years between him and K. We didn't have a big first birthday party for S. We were planning on it but plans have since changed. We had a small get together with a friend on Saturday and it was so fun. S loved her chocolate on chocolate cake that Miss Windy & Uncle Rich made for her. J & I helped with the writing. While S was eating her cake ever so delicately she thought she would share with me. I had chocolate on my forehead, my cheek and my neck. I guess someone had to get messy, right?

J has been having a rough time in school. While he is smart if he applies himself, he just doesn't like to. He has been having bad days where he is talking when he isn't supposed to or throwing things at other students. Typical behavior for my second born but he has always been so well behaved for other people. I hope it's just because his daddy isn't here. He had a field trip last week and a gift exchange this week. They made gingerbread houses yesterday and he even shared with all of us when he brought it home.

L is doing excellent in school as usual. She has atleast a 94% in all subject areas. She loves doing school work and always goes above and beyond what is expected of her. She is in a gifted class and she really enjoys it. I can't get over how much she loves school. I can actually threaten her with staying home from school if she won't listen :) All her teachers RAVE about her and even other teachers in the school just love her!

K is fiesty as ever. She is talking so much better now and thinks she is the little miss mom. She thinks she can carry around Sara or check the mail or make her own chocolate milk whenever she wishes. I have to constantly leave the deadbolt on the door or her and A will escape. She also thinks the cat should do what she wants, when she wants her to. She will get so mad if the cat doesn't want to come in the house. She fell in love with my friend Windy. She always wants her to hold her... this is the same little girl that will stand in the door at playgroup and not go in because she is "scared." Weird child! She cannot wait to go to school. I hate that she misses the cutoff by 2 weeks down here. I will probably look into getting her into a 3 day a week preschool for next fall even if I have to pay for it. It would be good for the both of us.

A is another wild child. He is pretty good about listening but still a crazy one. His new favorite thing is dancing. He goes wild listening to Hannah Montana or High School Musical. It is so darn cute. He is a loveable little bug too. He loves to give hugs and kisses. His hair is getting so blonde too. I remember when it was red as red can be. He will be 2 in a couple weeks. It is so hard to believe how fast these babies are growing up. Before I know it they will all be in school and I won't know what to do with myself.

John is still overseas. He was supposed to be coming home on leave in a couple weeks. We have known since August when he would be home and have been counting down the days. Now we come to find out that he has been pushed back to the end of January. I was very ticked when I found out. We had made so many plans and this just screws everything up. I mean, its better than getting pushed back to March or April but still, I have a right to be mad. We were going to have a huge birthday party for our three winter babies but that has now been cancelled. Lexi will wait until Daddy is home to have her party but the other two will have smaller parties before that. We were also waiting to decorate the Christmas tree and have Santa visit while Daddy was home but now it looks as if that will change as well. I cant leave my tree up that long and it's not fair to make the kids wait that long, especially since all their schoolmates will already have gotten their presents. I will ask them and I'm sure they will want their presents as soon as possible. That also means more work for me.

It is Christmastime and it is such a busy time. I am done with my Christmas shopping except for two things. One thing for John and the other thing for J. I actually was done yesterday until I had to pick up a photo order at Walmart today and spent another $100. In my defense, not one thing cost me more than $20 :)

I wrapped a good deal of presents yesterday and today. I have sooooo many more to do though. I don't know where I'm going to find the time to get it all done before leaving for Ohio on Thursday. Actually we are headed to Warner Robins on Thursday. Then from there we are going to Berea on Friday. We are staying with some friends to help break up the trip. So glad I don't have to stay in a hotel (Thanks Windy & Patty). We will finally make it to the inlaws on Saturday. Then the fun begins.

Sunday we have two Christmas parties to go to. My dad is hosting at his house in the early afternoon since my stepsiblings won't be there on Christmas day (that is when we usually do it) and my mom is hosting that evening because there is no other time for her to host since she works second shift every other day (such is the life of an RN). Christmas Eve is with the inlaws as usual. Dinner then church but this year we won't be opening presents that evening. My older brother in law will be at his fiance's family Christmas that evening. My kids will get to open a couple presents and my sister spend the evening with us as well. Christmas day will put as at my Grandpa's house during the day and back at the inlaws that evening. I am forgoing my family Christmas to spend it with John's family since he is deployed this year and we always miss going to his dad's side because of my family Christmas. Starting this year I will be alternating every year. So next year we will be going to my family's Christmas. The following two days we have no plans. Probably let the kids play with their new toys, break them down to fit into the car for on the way home and get me some much needed peking ribs from China Express :) Friday is Christmas with John's mom's side of the family. Gift exchange parties are always so much fun. Saturday will be the officially opening of presents with the inlaws. And then on Sunday it will be time to head back home. I will probably leave early in the morning... like 7 or 8 so that I arrive back to Warner Robins about 12 hours later. I won't be stopping anywhere before that and I know Ill be exhausted from driving so much that I will need to stop. Windy & Rich are also following me back home the next day so it all works out. A friend is coming in on the first that I haven't seen in 2 yrs. I cannot wait!!! I was hoping that John would have been home then but no such luck (which I'm still ticked about, by the way).

So as you can see it's going to be a very busy Christmas. Lots of parties, lots of driving, and lots of kids to take in and out of bathrooms AHHH I better buy some Pull-Ups (and Depends) before I go.

Hope everyone has a splendid holiday!!!

Monday, November 5, 2007

Bringing me back to reality

A tragedy rang out across the birth board that I am a part of. An acquaintance lost her husband unexpectedly. He left behind a beautiful, red-headed toddler daughter. My heart breaks every time I think about that little girl not getting to know her father. It really pulls on my heart strings.

Thinking about the pain that woman is going through really brought me back to reality. I am not a naive person. I set myself up for the worst possible scenario day in and day out. My husband is serving his country in a dangerous place. He has to live and work there for 15 months. I refuse to sit here and think the best because I can not be sure that he will come home to us, so I prepare myself for the worst. Flashes of funerals and what would happen if I received that dreaded knock on the door pop into my head. I can't help that. Don't get me wrong, I do pray for the best... I just will not live in denial. We have already been lucky once and we are not very lucky people.

However, I came to realize I have taken my husband and each day for granted. I don't give him the credit he deserves for taking care of this family. He may not be getting down and dirty and know everything that goes on with this family but he truly is the backbone. Without him there would be no food, no home, nothing. We fight over silly things... I wait for him to instant message or email me... I wait until he says "I love you" first. I can't do that anymore.

What if there is no "next time" or no "later"??? What if the last time we talked was the last time we would ever talk??? Did I tell him I loved him? Did I tell him how proud I am of him? Does he know that he is an important part of this family and means everything to me? Chances are, he knows, but that shouldn't stop me from telling him.

I've decided to make some changes. He may not always get a chance to email me or IM me or call me but I have the time. I can email him whenever I want. If I want to ask him something or tell him a story, I'm going to do it. He may not get it right away but the next time he gets on the computer he will get to hear from me and that says more than a simple "I love you."

We get so wrapped up in our everyday lives we forget about the small things. Holding hands, spontaneous sex, back rubs, cuddling to watch a movie, saying how we feel... we shouldn't put those things off for "tomorrow" because there may not be a tomorrow. And if there isn't a tomorrow... my husband knows now, that I love him more than anything even if I'm not that great at showing it.

I love you baby, come home soon!
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Trick or Treat

and I forgot my camera!!! Can you believe that?? I could have sworn I brought it but when I went to grab it out of the diaper bag it wasnt in there. I was sooooo mad. Of all the things I could forget, I forgot that and the goody bags for the other kids.

Thank goodness for friends with cameras. Jen and Melinda took some pictures for us and they turned out so cute. When we got back to Jen's house I caught something out of the corner of my eye and there it was, my camera sitting on the table. UGH! That made me even more mad. Although like Jen said "I dont know how you are going to take pictures! You already have your hands full."

We went trick or treating around Jen's neighborhood and there werent many houses passing out candy but it was consistent, meaning we didnt have to walk a ways before another house had its lights on. There were also quite a few houses without lights on that were passing out candy, wierd. I was shocked at how many kids didnt have costumes on. Even little kids like Adam's age. Then there was a group of teenagers wearing their backpacks on their fronts to fill with candy and not wearing costumes. When I pass out candy its NO COSTUME, NO CANDY!!! Im going to make a big banner that says that. I think its just ridiculous to not even make an effort. And then the kids are so rude they knock over things in the yard and just walk away. One kid knocked over some bricks in someone's yard and someone else knocked over one of those lawn light things. How hard is it to watch where you are going and to wear a costume??? Then to top it all off there was an ADULT wearing a football jersey and TRICK OR TREATING!!! She was a GRANDMA!!! I heard her say "I wish my grandbabies were with me." OMG, can you believe that??? I thought she was with some kids until I saw her go up to the house we were going to all by herself. It just amazes me that people can do that. I mean I got candy but it was "for sara" you know? Its not like I was going by myself. I think I deserve candy for the hard work I put into that day. Dont you?

They didnt get all that much candy individually but combined it was more than enough. This one house gave us HUGE handfuls of candy, he must have wanted to be done and didn't see any trick or treaters coming behind us so finished off the bowl in our bags. Then right after that there was this haunted garage. The guy had it all decked out with skeletons and black lights and neon paint and a guy dressed as a wolfman was sitting in the corner so when you walked out he would scare you. The guy handing out the candy had a scary mask on, holding a huge machete or something and wearing a butchers coat with "blood" splattered on it. It was cool. I wasnt scared though cause I had to make sure the kids new it was "pretend" even though I didnt really want to go in. The people around that neighborhood really took pride in dressing up. There were quite a few people dressed up. One house was playing scary music and the guy had one of those masks with the hoods and black face (so you cant see them) and huge claws on his hands and passing out candy. Another guy was wearing a scream mask passing out candy. Another guy was Michael Meyers.

The kids were stressing me big time. Jacob was pushing Adam in the stroller and would push him to the driveway, leave him there to go get candy, and then when I would bring Adam to the door Jacob would take off with him before I could get him candy. It was hard taking the whole gang to the door because Lexi and Jacob would get there before us. Most of the time people would realize "Hey its the whole Wizard of Oz gang." This one lady made her hubby come out to see all the kids. Everyone LOVED Sara's costume. Kadie started getting cranky and didn't want to walk anymore so I let Adam walk instead. He was being slow so the group got ahead of us. Jacob took off with Kadie to catch up to the group. When he got around a corner he left Kadie by herself and ran back towards me saying, "Kadie wants you." Luckily my friend Jen saw Kadie by herself and thought I might need some help LoL She asked Jacob where I was and he said "She's not coming." She waited for me and when I caught up everyone was ready to go back. I sent Kadie & Adam back with them and took Lexi, Sara, and Jacob and another girls daughters and nieces (preteens) to get some more candy. After about 15 minutes Jacob and Lexi were tired and wanted to go back. We ran into another friend of Jen's who took them back and I kept going with the other girls. We were out until about 9 but that haunted house was our last house cause the one girl had to potty so we had to rush back. I took my shoes off because my feet were killing me and walked all the way back in my socks.

Every halloween I wish I owned a golf cart so when we are finished I can just drive us all back. Must be what the people who drive their kids around are thinking. Golf carts aren't quite as lazy or dangerous, in my opinion, though.

Ok, so I know this story pretty much sucked and was me pretty much rambling, I apologize for that. But hopefully these pictures make up for that...

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Monday, October 15, 2007

Forgive Me?

As Ive stated in previous posts Ive got serious Mommy Brain! Well today just proves that.

I posted a new blog entitled "Month One" which I found while browsing my documents folder. I wrote it quite some time ago and couldn't believe I had never posted it here. Without checking first, I copied, pasted and posted the new post here about 10 minutes ago.

After doing so I thought I better check to make sure I hadnt posted it yet out of fear of looking like a complete idiot. Low and behold I did post it, back in the beginning of September. I knew there was a reason I couldn't shake the feeling that I had posted it already. Glad I checked and now I can defend myself before anyone calls me out on being a moron. :)

Friday, October 5, 2007

My Son the Barber

Grey's Anatomy was on last night and the rule is "All children must be in bed and asleep by 9pm on Thursday nights, OR ELSE!" What the "or else" is had yet to be determined; that is until last night.

I put the kids in bed at 740 which anyone can tell you should be enough time for them to be asleep. I mean I have put them to bed at 855 before and they were out by 858. Logic would tell me that they would be asleep with time to spare before Grey's came on. Thank goodness for Tivo though.

At 945pm they were still up. Actually, I think Lou was already sleeping but Monkey and Wadie were still up playing. For some reason they think bedtime means play in the hall until mom screams so loud the windows break. Or in this case, the glass globe on the ceiling fan light.

Ok, so it didn't really break because of my screaming. I was fed up with the two of them playing around and not listening to me so I was a little rougher with the pull chain on the ceiling fan than I should have been. After spanking their butts and seperating the two into their own rooms and beds, I angrily yanked the chain and down came the globe. Narrowly missing my head, might I add. It freaked both Monkey and I out and since I was too mad to clean it up at that moment I sent him to sleep in another room.

He left willingly and after seeing the Mr. Hyde side of mom I thought for sure he & Wadie would be in bed for the rest of the night, no problems. Up until about midnight that was the case; atleast how I thought it was.

As I was getting ready to go to bed I noticed the bathroom door was closed. Thinking that someone might be in there or it was locked (the kids like to do that for some strange reason) I went and opened the door. The horror that followed made me think of the scene in Daddy Daycare when Eddie Murphy opens the bathroom door looking around in utter shock and disgust while the Psycho music played in the background.

What I saw on the floor was a couple strands of hair. Ok, not so bad, right? All kids snip their hair from time to time and its not that big of a deal. I was imagining where she must have cut it from and how bad it actually looked. I continued to follow the small strands of hair that led me to the pot of gold, well more like, golden blonde!

The garbage was full of hair. I started to shake, my hands were going a mile a minute and all I could say was "Oh my god!" over and over again. As I was gathering up the hair to see just how much was there I began to cry. Wadie is 3 years old and had yet to have her haircut, except for her bangs, because I didn't want to lose her ringlets. I cried like a baby when I looked at her hair and realized how perfectly cut it was. It was cut all the way around which seemed strange to me.

Even though it was midnight I called my friend. I needed calming down. Afterall, it is just hair right? It will grow back, it's not that BIG of a deal. Yet after 1/2 an hour I was still shaking and I knew it was a good thing the kids were sleeping when I found out about the late night makeover in my bathroom. I had plenty of time to cool down before they woke up in the morning. My friend suggested maybe one of the other kids assisted her in her beauty school. I suppose it could be a possibility, I responded.

Although I didnt hear anyone in the bathroom playing while I was watching tv but obviously someone was in there. I figured it had to be Wadie all by herself trying out a new look since she is pretty good about being quiet and doing sneaky things. Put Monkey with her and all heck breaks loose.

I was skeptical that he was her accomplice until I actually asked him about it in the morning. He was tight lipped and shoulder shrugged. I finally got it out of him that he was the culprit behind the hair trail through my bathroom. He doesn't know why he did it but he does know it was wrong of him.

I then realized he had cut some of his own hair off too. I made him go to school like that; is that mean of me? He didn't seem to mind and wadie didn't seem to mind letting her 5yr old brother near her head with scissors yet I can't even get near her with a comb.

I took Wadie, Munchie & Mac to the mall today. After dropping off a package for John we went over to the mall to get Wadie's hair fixed. She was very impressed with Monkey for cutting it so well and that he actually used hair cutting scissors; she even joked that he could be a hair stylist one day. Guess we will see. But for now, practice sessions have been suspended until further notice. Do you think I could ground him from scissors until he is 21?

Wadie Before
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What I found in the bathroom
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After the makeover session by Monkey

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After the real hairdresser fixed her hair
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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Writer's Block

I used to write poetry as easily as it was for me to breathe. I could spit out a poem in a minute flat. I think I probably wrote close to 100 poems between 7th and 8th grade (that's when I began writing for fun).

My first poem was at the age of 12. It was a bit mature for my age, talking about gin and making love and getting married. Yes, I wrote about those things at the innocent age of 12. I think I can still remember it word for word... let me give it a try...

Strange Love
I was at the beach staring at the sky
I was eating a peach when I saw something fly by
When suddendly it hit me, a boot from the sky
So I thought up a creation of a boot that could fly
The wonderful creation yes she was a beauty
And thee who flew it, yes he was a cutie
He flew east and west, north and south
But the cutie inside never opened his mouth
The next day as he flew up above
I suddenly realized that I was in love
As he landed on the ground, he didnt make a sound
Yet he invited me in for a cool glass of gin
Without a single word we began to make love
As we soared off the ground like a plain white dove
Then he finally spoke and got down on one knee
And said to me, Brianna, will you marry me?
I gleemingly said yes with a little laughter
And he and I lived happily ever after

I had to look it up cause I was stumped with a few lines... that's how I feel lately... just stumped. I have been so busy running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I can hardly put a sentence together let alone a blog.

I mean, I could write about the kids' attraction to mudpuddles or the cat we have recently "adopted" or even the four candy bars my 3 and 1 year olds swindled into the car cart at the grocery store this morning. It all sounds nice and dandy to write about but I can't seem to think of enough about those things to say.

So, since my brain is mush I've resorted to allowing you to read ancient poetry of my teenage heart. Please don't choke on anything while reading and keep in mind I was young and dumb. I did LOVE to write though and it just came so easily.

Love and Hate
Love can put you in a fantasy
Love is sometimes hard to see
Love can take you far from me
Love can sometimes never be

Love is a pain that will make you cry
Love is so strong sometimes you could die
Love can sometimes be really shy
Love can make you want to fly

Hate is a pain I will never feel for you
Hate is when I don't know what to do
Hate from you makes me sad and blue
Hate is why you don't have a clue

I smile when I see you
I quiver when you touch me
I cry when you say goodbye
I need you every second, of every minute, of everyday
I will love you everyday, of every year, of my life
You say you love me and you say you miss me
I dont know what to do, my mind is a mess
We both have other people waiting in the wings
But if those two are the right thing
Then why do we find ourselves back in each others arms

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Why should you always get the optional insurance??

Because you NEVER know when you might pee on your phone!

That's right people! I peed on my phone today. I was carrying it in the back pocket of my jeans which I don't do anymore since it is longer than my old phone. But, I did today. I stuck it in my back pocket when I went to the neighbors to pick the kids up after getting back from my doctor's appointment (which went fairly well).

I got back to the house and had to pee really bad, as usual. That's what I get for drinking all that water at the doctor's office. So I run (literally) into the bathroom and pull my pants down. I promptly sat down. At the same time I started to pee I heard a "thwoop" sound (you know the sound when something falls into the toilet and hits the water then the bottom, that sound). I didn't think that it could be my phone but was curious as to what I knocked into the toilet... so while still peeing, I look behind me and there it was... my $350 BRAND NEW LESS THAN 30 DAYS OLD LG ENVY (in orange)!!!

Without thinking twice I stuck my hand in and fished it out. Yes, gross, I know but I was hoping to save it before it was ruined. I dried it off the best I could. Thinking about all the times I've ragged on my sister for dropping her cell in the lake or in the kiddy pool or in a puddle (what can I say, her, her cell phone and water should not all be in the same location). I could not believe I did that. I tried calling my sister to tell her... who better to call first, right? But she didn't answer and the phone was really hollow sounding... the way it sounds after its been submerged in water. I know what this sounds like because that's how my sister sounds when she calls after retrieving her phone from a body of water. And the way my aunt sounded when her son decided to "wash" her phone in the bathroom sink.

I then called a friend to see if she could hear me and tell her about my "accident" and I could only hear her if it was on speaker phone. Nice. Atleast the phone was working though... for those three minutes then it was dead. I couldn't get it turned back on and had no other way of calling Verizon but to go to the neighbor's and yet again tell my embarrassing story of peeing on my phone.

I talked to the Verizon Man Andrew whom informed me that I was SOL on getting my phone replaced. Well, I could pay $279 but since I didn't have the insurance that was the best price I could get. However, he was very helpful in getting my old POS phone turned back on so I atleast have something to use.

Friday, September 14, 2007

No Wonder They are NEVER hungry.

I walked out into the kitchen today to find 4 empty boxes of snacks (granted they were already empty from me putting the snacks in the cupboard but the kids didnt know that so they were trying to get what should have been in them), 3 opened jello tubs (all partially eaten, one with a spoon in it still) and 2 banana peels on the floor (they actually ate the bananas). I know what you are thinking... feed your kids and they wouldn't be getting into the food or watch them better. Seriously though, they can cause lots of damage in the 5 minutes it takes for me to pee. Oh, and I feed them when they start to cry uncontrollably and complain of stomach aches. Kidding people! Jeez!

I even have a lock on my fridge but apparently Wadie has figured that out. Now what do I do. Short from tying it up with a chain and lock like you see in the cartoons, I am out of options.

I am constantly finding food EVERYWHERE! I've found poptart in the kids' hair, bananas in my couch, cereal used as floor decoration, and cheese stuck to my tv. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. I even found one of those "Dawn's Famous Fossilized Hot Dogs" yesterday behind my microwave cart yesterday. We haven't had hotdogs in a couple weeks. I was scared to touch it.

This must be the reason I always find a miniature chair next to my counter. They are climbing up there to get whatever they want, when they want it. They have stopped asking and are just helping themselves. Maybe I need to buy some more of those door alarms to go along with the lock so I can hear when they open the fridge. And lots more cupboard locks while Im at it. Who would have thought you would have to childproof the cupboards above the fridge?!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Latest Additions

Not only did I post two new blogs tonight, but I also added a subscribe button and changed my comment settings.

Now you can sign up to receive an email when I update my blog. Also, now anyone can comment on my blog. So all 6 of my fans, including Brad, can leave me a message.


One more thing, there is a poll to the right. Feel free to express your opinion about my blog. Don't worry, you won't hurt my feelings.

Never Say Never

Random things I never thought would ever have to come out of my mouth:

1. No I can not get you ice cream from the ice cream man, the light is about to change.

2. You do NOT throw away money, ever!

3. How did you get a poptart stuck in your hair?

4. Diaper cream does not go on your face!

5. No you're right, we don't eat poop.

6. Don't make me email your daddy!

7. Can you sell children on Ebay?

8. Get your finger out of your nose... ewww... don't eat your boogers.

9. Why are there teeth marks in my "toy"?

10. Bring him here so I can smell his butt.


12. You do not play Goblin King with your brother.

13. DVD's are NOT frisbees.

14. If you don't stop that I'm going to duct tape you to the wall.

15. I don't care if you dip your apples in honey mustard.

Random things I never thought my kids would say at age...

6 mths: Mamamamamamamama

1 1/2: S-T-O-P STOP!!!

2 1/2 yrs: I got a big butt! You got big boobs!

3 1/2 yrs: Yes you f*%$'n did!

4 1/2 yrs: Let me see your boobs.

5 1/2 yrs: I hate my life!

6 1/2 yrs: HEY! Stop kissing my boyfriend!

Free to a Good Home!

I have a 6 1/2 year old blue eyed blonde haired little girl. Thinks she is a princess and is not afraid to tell you so. She loves dressing up and playing soccer. Has her dad's nose and her mama's attitude. Screams like a banshee when she doesn't get her way. Will slam doors and tell you she hates you and threaten to run away. She is very smart. Can read to herself and loves to sing. She would do best as an only child but could possibly handle having a baby brother or sister just not one close to her age or older. She needs lots of attention and loves to be spoiled.

Another model I have is a 5 year old blonde haired boy. Loves to cuddle and sleep in your bed. Is excellent at baseball but beware his arm can get him in trouble. He has the temper of 10 angry bulls and is not afraid to show it in public. Throws tantrums like a 2 year old but will love on you to get what he wants. Not fully potty trained, still has bedwetting accidents on occassion. Can write his name and is learning to read. He feels slightly abandoned by his daddy but will cry out for him when he is upset. Can be very shy when in front of a crowd and will call you out on it if he sees you watching him. Loves soccer, baseball, cats and peanut butter & jelly sandwiches. Drinks like a camel and pees like a racehorse. Can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

I also have an almost 3 year old brunette. She has curls at the ends of her hair but hates for it to be brushed. Would take a bath 3 times a day if you let her and will put shampoo in her dry hair when you are looking the other way. She will do this to any siblings as well. She loves to play "mommy" so it is probably best that she be the youngest in the family. Does well with older siblings, she can hold her own in a fight. Cries at the drop of a hat and refuses to nap or go to bed at night. Prefers to fall asleep on the living room floor or in your arms. Gives lots of hugs, kisses and I love yous. Very shy when meeting new people but once she warms up she will show her true colors. Likes to color... on anything, anywhere. Color wonder markers and paper are a must to keep her from coloring the walls, the tables, and herself. Loves applesauce and grapes. Will help herself to anything in the fridge and has been known to pour and mix her own chocolate milk.

I have a 20 1/2 month old adorable little redheaded boy. Very sweet and loving. Loves to give kisses and nose honks. He is a follower. Loves to put toilet paper in the toilet and jump from the coffee table to the couch. He still takes a binky so he is easy to plug up but forget it and he will make you regret it. He can scream with the best of him and his new favorite thing is throwing himself on the ground and banging his head when he is mad. This just makes him cry louder but as soon as you pick him up he is good to go. He is also still in a crib and goes down fairly easy. If you dont like CIO then this is not the kid for you. Beware when taking him out of his crib upon waking. He is known to have a full diaper and scream if you put him down. He likes to run around naked and pee on the floor. He likes to play with his pee pee too, he's just getting a head start. He is free to a good home. Should not be the only child in the home, does better in groups although gets in more trouble that way.

Last but not least I have a 9 month old baby girl. She has blue eyes and a little bit of brown hair. Can hold her own bottle and does not take a binky. She also does CIO but never very long. She takes 2-3 naps a day. She will scream her tiny little head off if constrained for too long but she loves her swing and her jumperoo. She does not come with any toys but I will include bottles and any leftover formula. She prefers Enfamil and hates Parent's Choice. She can be very cranky with an upset stomach. If you want to try the Parent's Choice be warned that it will not be pretty. She will puke on your black dress pants and pull out your hair. She is very cute and hard to resist. She is not up to date on her shots but will be before you take possession. She can low crawl and is very fast. She will put anything and everything in her mouth which can be hazardous when combined with the low crawling. Does well with siblings but being so young would not notice being an only child.

Pictures available upon request but I promise they will not do these kids justice. I will accept two for one trades but I do not take returns. Serious inquiries only. Im tired of people saying they want them but never following through. It is best to contact me between the hours of 12pm and 2pm or anytime after 9pm. Any other time and I can not guarantee that I will hear my phone and if I do answer I can not guarantee that I will be able to hear anything you have to say. Thanks for looking!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Whoever thought having voice commands was a good idea does not have children

What is it about the telephone being attached to my ear that my kids think is permission to scream and yell and fight and act like I never feed them?

Whenever the phone rings my kids think this is their cue to scream as loud as they can. I think they hold regularly meetings about what they will do the next time the phone rings...

Lou "If everyone is hear I think we should discuss our tactic for the next telephone call. Any ideas? Yes, Monkey?"
Monkey "I think we should run in circles around the table 4 times, then run through the den knocking Munchie over on the way, then run through the den and the hall right past mom and almost knock her over."
Lou "That's a good one Monkey. Any other ideas?"
Wadie "I go potty. You don't eat poop."
Lou "Oh thanks, Wadie. You can go in the bathroom, scream for mom that you went poop, then put the whole roll of toilet paper in the toilet. When you are done you can get in the bath and put shampoo in yours and Munchie's hair. I like that one."
Munchie "AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Seee!!! Welcome!!! Pee pee!!! PSSSSSSSSS!!!"
Monkey "Munchie said pee pee!!! HAHAHAHA!"
Lou "Ok, so are we sure that's what we will do next time. You know it has to be better than last time when we had the scooter race through the living room. Or the time before that when we through all the papers on the floor so when Mom was walking through the house while on the phone she would slip and almost fall. That was funny though."
Mom "You better be cleaning that den, I'm coming to check."
Lou "Meeting adjourned. Remember your part. Quick, act normal!"
All the kids "WAHHH WAHHH But it will take too long! I don't want to clean! I'm thirsty!"

In all seriousness though, it seems whenever I'm on the phone they are worse than usual. Just today I was on the phone with my mother in law. I can't exactly yell something like "GO TO BED YOU BRATS!!! I AM TRYING TO TALK TO GRANDMA!! IF YOU DONT GO TO BED IM BEATING YOUR LITTLE BUTT INTO NEXT WEEK!!!" Well I could but I try to act like I know how to handle my kids. So I just calming tell them 55 times they need to get in bed and no they will not get a snack because they were fighting but yah you can have a snack if it will get you off my back but no if you arent going to eat what I gave you then you arent getting anything, but anyways what was I saying, NO go to bed, Im not telling you again. Ok I think they are going... you should have eaten your dinner then. Im sorry its time for bed, when Im done on the phone Ill come read you a story."

One would hope this was the end of it but this is just the beginning. Then ensues the screaming from across the house that the mother in law can hear in the phone. You wish she would laugh but instead you know she is thinking "Kid's these days! Having kids while they are still kids themselves and not knowing how to raise them right. If I was taking care of them they would listen." as she just sits their listening to the chaos unfold.

Tattle taling soon follows... "He hit me" and "She won't leave me alone" It is really hard to understand how they can do these things when they sleep in seperate rooms. Do they have super stretchy arms like the mom in The Incredibles? Do they make fun of each other for having to go to bed? They are constantly at each other's throats... you would think they would stay away from each other. But NO! You got one of them in the other's room just being themselves. They dont have to be touching the other one, they dont have to be talking, they just have to be breathing and someone is screaming.

They also destroy the house in the blink of an eye anytime I am on the phone. It could be clean but the moment the phone rings it looks like tornado alley. Why is that? It's like Pavlov's dog. Who the heck trained my kids to make a mess when they hear Ashley Tisdale singing Fabulous???

All of this phone drama leads me to my real pet peeve. Those damn automated, voice command systems that so many places use now. I call the bank and they ask for me to 'say' my account number. I start to rattle off the numbers when the baby decides its time to practice saying "mama." I then hear, "I'm sorry but I did not understand. What is your account number?" So I say it again. This time a child being chased by older, bigger child runs by causing the system to once again say, "I'm sorry. Was that 112669?" Very agitated I say "NO" to which robot lady says, "I'm sorry, I did not understand, please hold while I transfer your call." UGH, I did not want to be transferred. I wanted to check my statement. Or in today's case I wanted to check the status of a shipment. Everytime I tried to answer the dumb guestion about taking a survey the baby would grunt as if she were trying to take a poop. The automated system could not translate her grunts and disconnected me.

So I leave you with this challenge... find me the moron that invented these kinds of systems. I would like to give him a piece of my mind. There is no way on earth a mother invented this system, and if it was a mother... let me give her the mother of the year award because she must be the "perfect" parent. As for me, I am not and the automated system is one more stressor in my imperfect life.

A Day of Remembrance

6 years ago we witnessed an attack on our home. It seems like yesterday to some and eons ago for others. With the War on Terrorism still going... I was going to say strong but Im not so sure that's the right word to use... we still think of this day in 2001 all the time.

I actually almost didn't realize that today was 9-11. It's hard to remember the dates when all my days mush together in a clump of dirty dishes, dirty diapers and dirty laundry. Surprisingly though, a water bill that my friend mailed to herself is what reminded me that today was that day.

I still remember where I was, what I was doing. Just as Im sure you remember too. I don't remember specific details like some people remember but I think I remember a lot.

I had dropped my almost 8mth old daughter (Lou) off at my fiance's grandparent's house. They watched her while I worked and dad went to school. I was a supervisor at a video store and I had to open the store that day. I sorted the newspapers, tossed the ones from yesterday, counted out the cash from the bank and popped the promo video into the vcr. The video that played on 3 televisions that soon would be a battle between a higher up and myself.

The morning started out normal, just as everyone elses had. Then things began to change. I had a customer ask me if I knew what was happening. I was clueless. There I was surrounded by comedies and kid's movies and a man on the television promoting popcorn with your video rental. I was oblivious to the real world.

I changed every video over to the local news channel that was running clips of the attack on the World Trade Center. I was in shock; my head was spinning. I remember looking out the window at all the cars going by and traffic seeming to be heavier than usual for a weekday morning. I could only imagine all those people rushing home to hug their loved ones just a bit tighter and I was stuck at work while my daughter was on the other side of town and no way of getting in touch with my soon to be husband. Flashes of this happening in my hometown were going through my head and I found it hard to work.

My words got lodged in the back of my throat every time someone would ask "What movie is this?" How do you tell them that this is real? This was happening to our country, our home. It was devastating to see their faces when they realized that that action packed movie was the local news. It still hurts thinking about the events of that day.

I didn't have to spend much more time alone. My fiance showed up. Classes had been suspended and then cancelled in light of recent events. All students were sent home. He came right to me, to see if I was ok. I told him he should have got Lou but he insisted she was fine with his grandparents and he wanted to be with me. I imagined that's how everyone in the world was feeling that they should be home with their loved ones snuggling, getting in one more kiss because you never know when it could be your last.

Then Mr. Incompassionate walked through the door. There is a much better word for him but I will let you chose that after reading this. A manager of sorts, he was in charge of putting stills on video and such, had the audacity to tell me to turn the tv back to the promo. I told him that the Twin Towers were struck by two planes and this was the local news, we should close so I could go home with my fiance and daughter. He very bluntly said, "We will remain open, that does not concern us, the only thing to be on these televisions is the promo video." I also got in trouble for my fiance being behind the counter reading a magazine but, oh well.

I just could not believe he did not give a rat's patootie about the country being attacked. It could have been us, we could have had family there, what give's him the right to be such a jerk. Oh, that's right... this wonderful country we live in. The land of the free and the home of every jackass in the world. Oh yah, the brave too.

So today we take the time to remember those brave men and women. The firefighters and the police officers from all over the country that came to Ground Zero to save a life and even lose their's. We shed a tear for all the military men and women fighting for our country to allow us to keep our freedoms. No matter the reason we went over there we are making a difference and keeping our peace. Remember the lives lost on the airlines that crashed that day. Remember the families that will grieve on this day for the rest of their lives. Remember me, and all the other military spouses living everyday without the love of their life. Remember the kids of all those brave men and women that have lost their lives in all of this. Remember what we are fighting for. Remember when you complain about the President and this country that I would be glad to buy you a one way ticket to replace my husband in Iraq. Remember your extended family, all Americans united. NEVER FORGET September 11th 2001!

Edited to say: I stated that I had dropped off my daughter at the great grandparents' but my husband reminded me that HE was the one that dropped her off. After thinking for a minute I realized that he was right (yes, you can copy and save and even frame that statement if you like honey) because I had to open the store that morning and I would not have dropped her off that early.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Diaper Cream Does NOT Go On Your Face

Today has just been one of those days. Now I am used to the usual run around. Kids chasing each other through the house; running in circles through the living room, then the dining room, then the den, and right back through the living room. Whoever designed this house did not think about the "circle" it created that just calls out to kids to run it. Just like any table is just asking for kids to run laps around it no matter how many times mom says to stop or someone gets hurt. It's really annoying when one of the kids does something bad and I have to go "chasing" them. I don't enjoy running laps through my house. Kids are smart; they just keep running that circle because they know mom can't catch them.

Anyways, I can handle that. I can even handle the constant whining, crying, and bickering that occurs between my three oldest.

"But SHE'S not helping."
"I'mmmmm stttaaaaaarrrrvvvvvvinggggggg."

As annoying as it is I can deal with that. I suppose I can even deal with the topic of this blog but it is something I never in a million years thought I would ever have to utter.

"Wadie! Diaper cream does NOT go on your face!" She just looks at me with a deer caught in the headlights look.
"Did you eat it?" She shakes her head.
"Did you get it in your eyes?" Mind you, she has applied it like a mud mask. Very evenly, I might add as well. She shakes her head.
"Did Munchie eat it?" Munchie, as you might guess, eats everything. Atleast he used to. He is 1 1/2 years old and could put away 3 slices of pizza, that's how he got his nickname. She shakes her head.

I tried not to laugh but it was hilarious. Before wiping it off her and her brother and my floor and the wall; I did pause just long enough to get a picture. However, I must email it to myself first because the batteries in my camera are dead and I had to take the picture with my phone. It really was a sight to see. Surprisingly, I didn't scream, I didn't yell, and I didn't spank any butts. It really was my fault for leaving the diaper cream in plain sight, on a shelf at my eye level, where the only access to it would be to climb on the arm of the couch and stand on your tippy toes to reach it. What can you do? Laugh... it really was funny.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Two Months Into This Deployment

This was written earlier on in this deployment but I thought it would be perfect here.


It has been 4 weeks, 3 days, and 8 hours since we said goodbye to our soldier, Mr. Fix it, Mr. One More Story before Bed, Mr. Let Mom Sleep in on Sundays. I knew it was going to be hard; after all I have been through this once before, only I had 3 kids then instead of the 5 I have now. I just didn’t realize that when other wives said “if it can go wrong, it will” they really meant it, they weren’t overreacting or being sarcastic.

Week one went by as normal as it gets around here. The kids played soccer in the living room, pulled every diaper out of the drawer, spilled cheerios all over the den floor, and unraveled a whole roll of toilet paper. But this was nothing I couldn’t handle. I dealt with this everyday while he was home so I thought it couldn’t be too difficult. Then I remembered I had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for the following week. Who was I going to get to babysit? The only friends I have are a 45 minute drive from here and I felt like a burden asking the neighbor. They always assured me it was no problem though.

Week two came and went but it was a bit harder than the previous week. I found myself being short with the kids. I wasn’t as tolerable of their usual antics and I was really emotional. I cried watching daytime television, primetime television, and The Disney Channel. Dinner consisted of macaroni and cheese or ramen noodles with one night of dinner out because I just didn’t want to cook. Yes, I ventured to take all 5 kids out to dinner at Texas Roadhouse all ALONE. It was kid’s night so it worked in our favor. We went before the dinner rush hit and got ice cream afterwards. It was actually a more relaxing night than the previous trip when daddy was with us. I still wasn’t quite myself though. Was I on the verge of depression? Maybe. Or was I just realizing that my husband was overseas in a combat zone and I was going to have a really difficult time on my own? It was more than likely the latter. From what I hear it is normal to be like this upon your husband’s deployment, even if you weren’t an emotional wreck during the first.

Week three came as a complete shock. I met a friend at the mall after school on Tuesday. I figured the indoor play place would be a good way to let the kids run off some energy so maybe they would go to bed at a decent hour. My friend had to get going so we parted ways and I asked the kids what they wanted for dinner. Of course they opted for the mall food court. I reluctantly agreed but having to walk to the food court would soon change my mind. Monkey and Wadie were not listening and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with strangers staring at me as if I didn’t know how to control my children. The fact of the matter is it doesn’t matter how I handle the situation, I will always be doing the wrong thing in some bystander’s mind. I turned the stroller around, plopped my 2 year old in with the two babies and said “We are going home, now!” which did not sit well with my 4 year old. He had a meltdown in the middle of the mall and I could feel about 50 eyes all staring in the direction of a little boy’s screeching. I ended up carrying him out of the mall while pushing the double stroller, which was definitely a sight to see. At that moment I thought I would never step foot in public with all 5 kids again. Wednesday was grocery day. I was doing fine after getting the two oldest off to school until I hit the card aisle at Kroger. All I needed was an envelope but I knew I should at least buy a card especially since I would need one for father’s day. Every card I read made me cry. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling, they just kept coming one right after another. I grabbed the perfect card, the one that first made me tear up and I got out of there before they had to call for a clean up on aisle 3. This was the day my anxiety attacks started. I had plans to go to a wedding in Cleveland on Saturday but I had a knot in my stomach. Babysitters were in place, plane ticket was bought and the seating chart for the reception had my name on it. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I shouldn’t go. I was beyond scared that something bad was going to happen and I cried just thinking about it. By Thursday I had cancelled my plans and still couldn’t shake the feeling I had. I went to playgroup feeling like an outsider and came home to veg on the couch while the kids had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner. Friday morning I had changed my mind once again when the groom called me about my cancelled hotel room. I felt terrible about not being there for the wedding. I arranged for my sitters to still watch the kids and I didn’t start packing until 930 when I was planning on leaving at 10. It was 1020 and I was just getting ready to change Wadie’s clothes and head out the door when John instant messaged me. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back, the needle in the balloon. I knew that was my sign that I shouldn’t go. I cancelled all my plans once again and cried each time I had to explain why I wasn’t coming. I always knew I was crazy, now everyone else knows it too.

Week 4 was the kids’ last week of school. The kids had tons going on at school in preparation for the end of the school year. Even though I just went grocery shopping the previous week there were still some things I needed. I decided to make jam for the teachers’ end of the year gifts. I thought it would be fun for the kids to help with and it’s consumable so it’s not going to take up space in a landfill somewhere if they don’t like it. I always seem to amaze my friends when I tell them I’m making something like cookies or, in this case, jam but I make easy things. I wouldn’t be crocheting blankets for them or anything now that would be amazing. We had parent teacher conferences, a summer program meeting, the awards ceremony and the Pre-K end of the year program this week. As if that weren’t enough, this was the week that everything fell apart; besides me of course, I fell apart the week before this. I forgot to take the garbage out on Monday, someone broke the toilet seat on Tuesday, got a notice to move my van out of the yard on Wednesday only to find that it has a dead battery, Tivo decided to stop working unexpectedly on Thursday, and Friday was the last day of school. While this doesn’t sound like my whole life turned upside down in one week, I assure you it was worse than it sounds. Our garbage can fills up fast, it has to go out on Monday or there won’t be enough room for another weeks worth of garbage in it. I don’t usually forget, I hadn’t forgotten yet and to be honest the garbage men don’t usually come until after 4 so I thought I had plenty of time to get home and take it out. That had to be the day they came early. The dead battery on the van would be no big deal if I knew how to use jumper cables. I’ve never done anything more on a car than pump gas and I was scared to do that for the first time at the age of 18. Here I am still a chicken at the age of 26, scared to try recharging the battery. The van has to be moved by tomorrow, so guess what I will be doing. I don’t have any idea who broke the toilet seat or how they did it. All I know is it is broke right in half and now I need to fix that too. The Tivo had been working perfectly for quite some time and I should have known it was too good to last. John was always the one to get it up and running again. I couldn’t just call him to ask him how to fix it. I wish it was that simple as making a quick phone call. By a stroke of luck I got it working again after several attempts, just in time to record my soaps. Friday being the last day of school is pretty self explanatory. We have been in this routine of getting up and going to school for 9 months now and all of a sudden I am being thrust back into being home with all 5 kids all day long, with no help at all. It’s not a question of whether I can do it or not, but more of a challenge to be able to do it and not lose my mind at the same time.

My Last Birth Story

I received a lot of comments on my birth story back when it actually happened in December. Many people said I should start a blog or write for a magazine. I just recently started this blog and I have no intention of writing for a magazine. Although my intentions may change when someone offers me a paid position. HA!

I've given birth 6 times. Only one of which wasn't induced and that was the most exciting one. I must warn you though, do not drink or eat anything while reading this. I cannot be held responsible if you choke on an apple or spit coke all over your keyboard.

December 10th:
It's two days before my due date and I have been having some minor contractions all day. I had originally been told I would not go past December 8th. As you can see, that was not the case. This is what happens when you see 3 different people for your ob visits.

I began timing my contractions around dinner time. Seven minutes apart. I knew that once they were 5 minutes apart then I should get to the hospital. How I was getting there was another story. My husband was "in the field" and had been for a couple weeks already. If you aren't a military wife you probably have no idea what "in the field" means. Basically he is training out in a field somewhere close but it takes 6 hours and 12 guys to get in contact with him. Okay, so I may be exaggerating on that but it does seem like to take FOREVER.

I had never gone into labor on my own before so you could say I was new to this. After three 7 minute apart contractions my uterus gave up. That was that. No baby today.

December 11th:
Ahhh, one more day until my due date. How was I going to go past my due date. I HAD to go into labor tonight, or tomorrow. I have never even seen my due date without holding a baby (in one form or another) in my arms. Misery set in weeks ago and I was saying the whole pregnancy that this little girl would be coming early. She just HAD to prove me wrong.

I have an appointment in the morning and I am demanding that I be induced NO LATER THAN Friday. I am not giving in, no way, no how. I just couldn't see why they weren't as concerned with my child's health as I was. {Background: my first pregnancy ended in a stillbirth at 26wks. One of the causes of death was a placental insufficiency - the placenta was doing it's job - this being the reason I was induced every other time.}

The day came and went faster than I could even believe, I had a few contractions but nothing worth writing home about. Still no sign of baby.

December 12th:
D-Day, as I like to refer to it. I was quite looking forward to my appointment at 1030am. I also had playgroup immediately following and had no intentions of missing it. I dropped my two oldest off at school and shortly after I headed to my appointment.

I was curious to see if I had dilated any since my last appointment. After all the contractions I had been having I was hoping to hear, "Wow! You are already at a 3. It won't be much longer before you are holding your baby." Not sure it actually would have accounted to much seeing as the last visit she said, "I wouldn't be surprised if this was the last time we saw you before you have this baby." Surprise, I'm back and NO baby yet.

Needless to say that was not the news I received when she checked my cervix. Imagine how disappointed I was when I heard, "You are a good 1, stretchable to a 2." She HAD to be kidding. That's what I was last time and the time before that. What was the point of the pain I've been through the last few weeks? Still not entirely sure.

She offered to strip my membranes "to get things going" just like she had the week before. The last time I surprised myself by turning her down. With my husband in the field I decided I better just try and wait it out. Now he would be out of the field in two days so I didn't see the harm in trying. Of course it wouldn't help anyways, it never does. I was doomed to be pregnant until they induced. I would never get to experience natural childbirth.

I "demanded" I be induced on Friday. She checked the schedule and wouldn't you know it, there were no openings. They were booked solid but they would schedule for Monday and if anything changed before then they would put me in on Friday. Yay, wonderful, atleast I have a date now.

It didn't seem to calm my nerves at all. I was still worried about the baby. How could I go SIX days after my due date. I would go crazy for sure. And my baby? How would she do being inside my for SIX MORE DAYS!? I suppose the good part is daddy would be able to be there. He missed his last son being born; atleast he wouldn't miss his last daughter's birth.

I left feeling let down and a bit crampy. I wasn't concerned with the cramps as they are normal after an exam. I just went about my day as I had already planned. I still had time to make it to playgroup; it was just about noon and we were meeting them at the mall at 1.

I arrived at the mall to meet playgroup and I was hoping they had actually shown up. I would hate to have already been let down once and show up to find no one had actually come. I was not let down a second time. They were there and excited to see me.

I told them about my appointment and how I wouldn't be induced until the following week. They knew how much I had wanted to have this baby already so I jokingly said, "I could still have her today if these cramps keep up."

For the next hour I had dull cramps and they didn't really bother me. I continued to converse with the other moms and take pictures of the kids playing. Some of the moms kept asking if I was okay. I seemed okay, or so I thought. I told them I was fine, the cramps weren't even regular. I knew as long as I could go about my day, talk, walk, etc that I was fine.

I remember checking my watch at about 220pm and by this time my "cramps" were becoming regular. They were 7 minutes apart and I hadn't told anyone. I wasn't worried as I could still handle them. I was very nonchalant about the whole thing. Some of the girls had to leave so we all decided to walk out together.

On the way out of the mall we stopped at Target. A couple of the girls were shopping and one asked if I was alright. I really thought I was fine so I assured her I was.

"Yah, they are about 7 minutes apart now." This seemed to shock them.
"Are you ok or do we need to take you to the hospital?" they asked.
"Oh no, I'm fine. I had some contractions like this on Sunday as well." This satisfied them for the time being.

We went about our shopping for another half an hour or so. We left the mall shortly before 3 because I had to get my older two from school. As we were leaving I mentioned my contractions now were about 5 minutes apart. My friends grew more concerned and thought they should follow me home. In hindsight, I wish they had. I told them I would be fine and I would talk to them later.

Before even leaving the parking lot of the mall my contractions were back to being 7-8 minutes apart. I was under the impression that if they are not regular then they are not "real" contractions. Boy, would I ever be proven wrong!

I headed to the kids' school. I made a number of phone calls on my way (the last of which was to my husband). I called my aunt; I suggested I may be in labor and she said to keep her posted. I called my friend Kristen; she accused me of lying. She didn't believe I was in labor but then again, neither did I. I called my friend Callie; she is the one that convinced me to get in touch with my husband. She could tell I was in labor. I tried calling my husband numerous times on his cellphone to let him know that I "might" be in labor. I didn't get an answer so I stopped trying.

I finally got the kids from school and headed home around 330pm. By this time it started to sink in that I really could be in labor. The contractions were fairly close together but I had stopped timing them. Really, how do you time contractions while unloading 4 kids out of the car?!

I realized I had to get in touch with my husband so I finally got on the phone to staff duty.

"Staff Duty this is Sgt C."
"Hi, I'm trying to get in touch with Lieutenant John. This is his wife and I am in labor."

And of all the stupid things someone could say, this is what I get...

"Lieutenant John is in the field. Can I take a message?"

Now, did I not just say why I was calling? And would I be calling if he wasn't in the field?"

As calmly as possible I replied, "Yah, this is his wife and I'm in labor. THAT is the message."
He seemed flustered at this point. "Oh, ok, I'll get that message to him right away."

(I later found out he never actually got the message. The connection was fuzzy and all he heard was wife. He immediately left knowing I must be in labor).

I hadn't even considered who I was getting to take me to the hospital. I called the only friend I could get in touch with but she was still 45 minutes away. It was now 340pm. I then called my husband's cousin to come watch the kids as he had agreed to. He said he would be right over.

Scott (John's cousin) showed up not 10 minutes later and I was sitting on the couch while my kids ran amuck. I was too emersed in the contractions to even think straight at this point.

"Are you ok?" he asks.

Seriously, who in their own right mind asks a woman in labor this?

The only thing I could muster was, "I don't know." I knew that was not a good sign.

I didn't know what I should do. Thinking unclearly I called my friend back. I told her I was loading the kids into the car and Scott was taking me to the hospital. She could meet me there. I knew there was no way she would make it to the house in time.

We were finally pulling out of the driveway about 4ish. As Scott drove, I frantically tried getting in touch with the doctor's office. Not having done this before I wasn't sure what to do. Do I go to the office or the ER or straight to Labor & Delivery? I couldn't get in touch with anyone at the office so I decided to try John back again. Still no answer on his phone. I probably called 20 times already.

About 3 miles from my house we got stopped by the second red light in less than a minute. I remember telling him I wouldn't care if he ran the red light (he was driving my car) and as soon as it was clear, he did. I can only imagine what the other drivers were thinking. What would you be thinking?

Scott was driving like a maniac and I didn't care. I knew my kids were in the car but I was so scared of having that baby in the car. Every story I had ever heard about someone delivering in the car was going through my head.

We were nearing the hospital when we got stuck in traffic. It was a two lane road with tons of traffic coming towards us and trees on the left. That was when my water broke, about 415pm. I began to freak. My last baby was born just 10 minutes after my water broke. I knew it, I was going to have this baby in the car. I went into panic mode.

I started to call the doctor's office just one more time when John finally got through to me. I was crying and frantic. I told him my water broke and he said he was on his way. I can only imagine how fast he was driving.

Traffic was at a standstill and there was no where to go, except on the shoulder, through the trees. I told Scott to drive on the shoulder, my water had broke and the baby was coming NOW! My window was all the way down because it was the only thing keeping me from completely losing it. As we drove through the trees I was being smacked in the arm by random branches and the side of the van was being scratched up. I did not care.

Scott is beeping at every car that we pass. We got up about 6 or 7 cars when we couldn't go any further. The shoulder was no longer just a shoulder, there was a curb too. We couldn't exactly drive over it. I was again freaking.

Traffic started to move and Scott wedged his way into the line. I started to feel lots of pressure and knew the baby was coming. Like a scene straight from a movie, Scott manuevered into the left turn lane and sped up in front of 3 cars to go straight through the light. I'm sure he ticked a lot of people off but I wasn't in any state of concern for them.

I was really scared this baby was coming. Traffic slowed once again. With the hospital in sight I picked up my cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. Yes, I called 9-1-1!!! I was not in my right mind and I did NOT want to have the baby in the car. The operator couldn't understand what I was saying so I tried calming down as best as I could. He assured me they would be waiting for me at the main entrance.

We pulled up the entrance and Scott, bless his heart, jumps out yelling, "She's in labor and the baby is coming NOW! We need some help." He gets a funny look from a man standing by the door but he nonchalantly gets a wheelchair. He was slower than molasses in winter time, or so it seemed to me as I was "dying" in the car. Although the pain had let up, I could still feel all that pressure.

Scott opened my door and even had to take my seatbelt off. I just couldn't get my arms and legs to cooperate. I was in a daze and soaked from my water breaking. This guy that brought the wheelchair took me into the hospital where he transferred me over to another guy in the elevator. I felt like a piece of mail. "This needs to go to the third floor. Could you run it up there for me?"

Elevator guy as I will call him walks just as slow as door guy. Even worse though, he doesn't know where to take me. He stops at every possible desk on the way to Labor & Delivery. Thank goodness I was already registered and thank goodness the nurses believed him when he told them I said "the baby is coming!"

I was rushing into a room where I threw (literally) my purse and my phone into a chair. I stripped out of my sopping wet jeans (yes, I could wear jeans at 40wks pregnant, and they weren't maternity either... how jealous are you?) but I kept my shirt on (that was maternity if you makes you feel any better).

It was about 430 when I finally got to push. I was there all by myself with a bunch of nurses and my doctor. My husband didn't make it and my friend didn't make it but the only thing I cared about was delivering this baby. I pushed maybe 10 times and let out a few loud screams and my little girl was born at 445pm. Sara Mackenzie weighed in at 7lbs 5oz.

My friend finally got to come in the room about 5 after the doctor stitched me up and that is when I started making phone calls. I got in touch with John at 510. Since he had already missed the birth I sent him to the house to get my hospital bag. In all the excitement, and denial, I left it at home. He finally made it at 6 and got to meet his daughter when they brought her back from the nursery at 9.

It was a wild and crazy day but I am so glad I was able to experience labor on my own. I'm still not convinced I actually got ahold of the right 9-1-1 operator since no one was waiting for me at the hospital... anyone know how that works when you have an out of state cell phone? Oh well, good thing I didn't end up having her in the car. Although, that would be an interesting story to read huh?

Almost 9 months later: I still get flashbacks whenever I drive through the light that Scott ran or when driving towards the hospital. As nerve wracking as that day was I'm glad that I can have those flashbacks. What fun are the flashbacks from my other births? 'Well I had my aunt drop me off at the ER. I signed in and they wheeled me up to labor and delivery where they started me with cervadil to soften my cervix.' Not very exciting is it... I hope that everyone gets to experience this atleast once. Oh, and cut the cord. That is the most amazing thing outside of childbirth.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

I Feel Like A Copycat

There was a lot of ruckus going on last week with a funny woman named Dawn. She posted a lot of Pokemon cards on Ebay and has since gotten a massive amount of attention on her auction and her blog

I was by no means trying to be a copycat but I do feel that way a bit. I started a blog only after reading hers. She has truly been a saving grace to me. When I am at the store and thinking about her stories it puts a smile on my face. That then makes what has made me mad in the first place seem so silly and I get over it quickly.

I am yet again a copycat. Just today I posted an Ebay auction for a Cars DVD and instead of a general "Here is a dvd, brand new, happy bidding" description I told the story of the DVD. Whether it gets any attention or not is another story. I'm just hoping to get some of the $30 it ended up costing me back.

I hope no one thinks less of me. Just wanted to get that out there.

Disclaimer: I realize this wasn't a funny post like my previous blogs but there will be plenty of laughter to follow. Don't you worry your pretty little heads!

Edited to add: Here is the link to my Ebay auction if any of you are interested in it or just want to read the story, that's cool too.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Out and About

Remember the memory thing I was talking about earlier? Yah. Mine's not fairing so well these days and I am really starting to get annoyed by it. Alas, that is not the point of this blog.

Lou had her first outdoor soccer practice this evening. She is playing with a bunch of rich kids and I felt sort of out of place. I do it for her though. She really enjoys soccer and when I found out that I had apparently signed her up I knew I had to let her play. I say apparently because until yesterday I had no idea she was playing soccer. Or that Monkey was too but on a different team and on a different day for both practices and games.

Makes for a busy week but this is what I always dreamed of doing with my kids. Taking them to practices and games for whatever sport they so desired to play. My dreams never included the swarms of gnats or Wadie peeing on the merry go round at the playground though. I also did not think about Munchie's addiction to balls and had no idea that he would scream for them and run circles around me while I was holding Mac and talking on my phone.

All in all, practice went good. The kids enjoyed themselves and I sweated away a few pounds. Guess that last bit doesn't matter since we went to dinner at Texas Roadhouse afterwards. Captain John would be jealous. That is his favorite restaurant.

Dinner was actually pleasant. And by pleasant I mean, there was never a point I wanted to rip my hair out of my head, showcase my kids on the walls like the animals they can be, or cower under the table. Not that there would have been room under the table with as many times as Wadie went back and forth between my side and the kids side.

They were behaving themselves when I got the guestion I was just waiting for. "Are they all yours?" I couldn't help but laugh a bit inside thinking about Dawn and her shopping trip. I let out a little giggle as I said, "I only claim them when they are being good, and today has been okay." I realized after I said that I was probably doomed for a terrible night.

We finished dinner and headed over to Target. I had to pick up some soccer equipment for the kids. I figured I could kill two birds with one stone since we were already there.

I put Mac in the back of the cart. I know, big no no but what can you do with 5 kids? There aren't many options. In my defense, she was in her carrier, she wasn't going anywhere. Munchie got to sit up front and Wadie rode on the back (another no no of course). Lou and Monkey walked. Surprisingly I didn't end up with 50 things I didn't want or need in my cart.

We stopped at the water bottles and they each picked out one. Next was soccer balls. Lou wanted the $20 shinguards but I just couldn't see paying that much for the color pink. I already paid $9 for a salad in the Atlanta Airport just for her to eat the croutons a few weeks ago; I had to draw the line somewhere. Monkey picked out a yellow soccer ball. We finished up with the $4 shinguards and two pair of Adidas cleats. They are the same exact colors and the same exact sizes. Let's hope when they go missing that we don't just find two left shoes.

I was considering finishing up with school shopping. It is ridiculous how much we have to get and even more ridiculous how much it ends up costing. Highway robbery at its finest. I skipped that because Mac was getting cranky and Munchie was trying to imitate Superman. How do you explain to a 1 year old that he can NOT fly?

I pushed my full cart (that was full before I even started shopping) down the center aisle trailed by the three oldest. It's a good thing too because Munchie thought it would be funny to throw everything out of the cart. I couldn't help but think of Dawn on her grocery store trip.

Mom: "Wadie, socks"
Kadie: Hands the socks back to me to put back into the cart and takes off running
Mom: "Monkey, shinguards"
Monkey: Hands back the shinguards and takes off after Wadie
Mom: "Lou, shinguards. Wadie, Monkey, stop right there"
Lou: Hands back the shinguards and tells Munchie "No no"
Passersby: Laugh at the kids running amuck

I was glad to be on the way to the cash registers because I was ready to go home. The kids unloaded the cart. Made my job a bit easier. Wadie tried to talk me into getting her a baby bottle pop. Which wasn't exactly talking by sounded more like this... "YES!!! YES!!! CANDY!!! WAHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! YEEEES!!!" She needs to work on her tactics; she didnt persuade me. She actually put the candy back after telling her 6 or 7 times and I got my money out in anticipation of the current damage. I swear I single handedly pay the cashier's paycheck everytime I go in there.

A shopping trip can not be complete though unless one kid has to go to the bathroom and announces it to everyone within ear shot.

Wadie: "I hafta go to da baffrrooooommm"
Mom: "Hold it Wadie, we are almost done"
Wadie: "It bout to come ouuuuuuuuut"
Mom: I look over at Wadie and happen to see a pack of Pokemon cards on the shelf next to her. A big smile comes across my face and I remember that somewhere someone is doing the same thing I am doing and going just as crazy.

Edited to add:
Funny story. Happened while we were in Texas Roadhouse. My mother in law cracked up when I told her so I had to come share even if it doesn't make much sense to you. It is pretty hilarious to us.

We were just finishing up dinner when this man and his wife walked in. The kids were pretty ancy at this point. Munchie was starting to fuss, Mac was in her carseat and not so happy about it, Wadie was crawling under the table and Lou & Monkey were "tired" so they were lying on the bench. The man stopped at the table as if looking at an exhibit at the zoo. He started talking to Munchie then asked "Where's daddy?" I thought for sure one of the kids would tell him but they didn't. Usually we bring "daddy" in with us (we have a Flat Daddy which you can see pictures of at but we didn't bring him in this time). Even with some prodding from me they still weren't chiming in. I told the man daddy was in Iraq at which point Monkey chimes in with "He's in the car." Yes, daddy was in the car but not that daddy. Wadie then pulled my phone out of the diaper bag and upon opening it exclaimed, "Dare's Daddy!" I'm sure the man thought I was nuts, oh well. Kids do say the darndest things sometimes.

Mommy Brain

If you have kids, you know what I am talking about. If not, it means I forget things a whole lot easier now that I am a mom. Something about losing brain cells with every pregnancy. I must say, I agree.

I used to have an excellent memory. I could remember birthdays and phone numbers and addresses. Now I have to check my address book and have even considered buying a birthday book to record all of them. The condition is so bad that it makes me mix up my own kids' names or draw a blank all together.

The kids don't seem to pay much attention when you have to go through the whole list of names and sometimes even the pets' names before realizing who you are actually yelling at, er, I mean talking to. It really frustrates me when we are at playgroup and I can remember every other kid's name but my own. How embarrassing is that?

The point of starting this actually was because just yesterday I was thinking of things I would blog about. My kids were bugging me while I was in the shower while I was thinking of things. While I was driving I had tons of ideas but then my kids started screaming.

I woke up this morning, opened up my blog and poof! All my ideas were gone. I suppose I could tell you my birth story; that got a lot of laughs. I'm sure things will pop into my head randomly throughout the day as well. Guess I better stop trying to make mental notes and pull that pen out of my hair that keeps it up. I can then take actual notes... on my hand.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Dreaded Errands

It doesn't matter how many times you go over the rules, there is always one kid that doesn't follow them. Whether it is in the grocery store, the bank or the post office, the rules are the same and so is the outcome.

I could tell many stories of stressful shopping trips and daunting errands. I've had a child throw up in the grocery store after getting a cart full of groceries and forgetting my savings card. I informed customer service and was trying to get a replacement card when she threw up again. Nice, huh?

Let's not forget all the lost shoes that get taken away by the Kroger fairy seconds after they fall off the innocent child's feet. I really wonder what goes through their minds when they think it is ok to strip in the grocery store.

The best, er, the worst incident occured in the post office about 2 months ago. I had to send 5 packages to my deployed husband. Have you ever tried taking 5 heavy packages and 5 children into the post office all at once? It's not that easy.

I loaded Small and all the packages into the stroller and made the older 3 walk while I pushed the stroller and carried Extra Small in the Baby Bjorn carrier. It never fails that the ones that get to walk are the ones that want to ride and the ones that ride are the ones that want to walk.

I must partly blame myself for what happened next. My packages were not entirely ready. I had to fill out 5 address labels and 5 customs forms. Customs forms are not that easy to fill out especially when you have stuffed the boxes with 600 different items. They don't leave enough space to list that many items and my hand starts to cramp. As I'm filling out the forms, I let Medium sit where the packages had been. I get a compliment from the lady standing in front of me...

Nice lady: "Wow, how do you get them to behave so well?"
Me: "Trust me, its a fluke."

Just as I finish my sentence, the large kid decides he wants to "share" the stroller with medium. Medium did NOT want to share so she pushed Large away. This made large angry and he let out a scream that could wake the dead. He then threw himself on the floor. What's a mom to do? I can't spank him because someone might call child services on me. I can't yell at him because it is still verbal abuse. I can't reason with him because he just can not be reasoned with. I calmly tell him to get up and I write faster.

He stays down on the floor but isn't yelling anymore so I am partly satisfied. Then it happened... some old lady opened her trap.

Old lady: "Could you shut him up?!"
Me: As I turn around unbelieving of what I just heard, "Excuse me?!"
Old lady: "I can not concentrate with all that noise."

Now, my kids were not making much noise aside from the one scream he let out and really, how hard is it to fill out an address. It's not rocket science.

Me: "He is 4 years old! He is mad! What do you expect him to do?"
Old lady: "Just that because that is how they were raised."

Did she really just tell me I wasn't raising my children right?! I was too much in shock and had already made a big enough spectacle that I just turned away. My hand was shaking so bad from her working me up and I swore if she said anything again she would live to regret it.

How was she going to tell my son to shut up? And then to call me a bad mom on top of it. I was actually pretty amazed at how well they did behave. What kid wants to wait in a line at the post office right before lunch time anyways? I guess that's my bad for going at that time but really people, they are just kids.

So you would think I would be scared to ever return to that post office. You would be wrong if you thought that. I do fear ever running into her there again but only because next time I may not be able to bite my tongue.

I went back to the post office today with only 3 packages and all 5 kids. The line was short, the kids were well rested and I was very much prepared. There was a small incident where Large almost had an accident but other than that I was impressed.

Upon finishing my transaction I got a very nice compliment from the postal worker.

Worker: "You have very well behaved kids there."
Me: "Oh thank you." As I look over and smile at them walking away by themselves (I asked them to put something in the mailbox).
Worker: "You must be doing something right, Mommy."
Me: Big smile on my face and in my heart, "thank you." and I walked away.

It always feels so good when the kids outshine themselves and someone notices. It reflects so well on the parents. And I loved how it reflected on me today!