Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Out and About

Remember the memory thing I was talking about earlier? Yah. Mine's not fairing so well these days and I am really starting to get annoyed by it. Alas, that is not the point of this blog.

Lou had her first outdoor soccer practice this evening. She is playing with a bunch of rich kids and I felt sort of out of place. I do it for her though. She really enjoys soccer and when I found out that I had apparently signed her up I knew I had to let her play. I say apparently because until yesterday I had no idea she was playing soccer. Or that Monkey was too but on a different team and on a different day for both practices and games.

Makes for a busy week but this is what I always dreamed of doing with my kids. Taking them to practices and games for whatever sport they so desired to play. My dreams never included the swarms of gnats or Wadie peeing on the merry go round at the playground though. I also did not think about Munchie's addiction to balls and had no idea that he would scream for them and run circles around me while I was holding Mac and talking on my phone.

All in all, practice went good. The kids enjoyed themselves and I sweated away a few pounds. Guess that last bit doesn't matter since we went to dinner at Texas Roadhouse afterwards. Captain John would be jealous. That is his favorite restaurant.

Dinner was actually pleasant. And by pleasant I mean, there was never a point I wanted to rip my hair out of my head, showcase my kids on the walls like the animals they can be, or cower under the table. Not that there would have been room under the table with as many times as Wadie went back and forth between my side and the kids side.

They were behaving themselves when I got the guestion I was just waiting for. "Are they all yours?" I couldn't help but laugh a bit inside thinking about Dawn and her shopping trip. I let out a little giggle as I said, "I only claim them when they are being good, and today has been okay." I realized after I said that I was probably doomed for a terrible night.

We finished dinner and headed over to Target. I had to pick up some soccer equipment for the kids. I figured I could kill two birds with one stone since we were already there.

I put Mac in the back of the cart. I know, big no no but what can you do with 5 kids? There aren't many options. In my defense, she was in her carrier, she wasn't going anywhere. Munchie got to sit up front and Wadie rode on the back (another no no of course). Lou and Monkey walked. Surprisingly I didn't end up with 50 things I didn't want or need in my cart.

We stopped at the water bottles and they each picked out one. Next was soccer balls. Lou wanted the $20 shinguards but I just couldn't see paying that much for the color pink. I already paid $9 for a salad in the Atlanta Airport just for her to eat the croutons a few weeks ago; I had to draw the line somewhere. Monkey picked out a yellow soccer ball. We finished up with the $4 shinguards and two pair of Adidas cleats. They are the same exact colors and the same exact sizes. Let's hope when they go missing that we don't just find two left shoes.

I was considering finishing up with school shopping. It is ridiculous how much we have to get and even more ridiculous how much it ends up costing. Highway robbery at its finest. I skipped that because Mac was getting cranky and Munchie was trying to imitate Superman. How do you explain to a 1 year old that he can NOT fly?

I pushed my full cart (that was full before I even started shopping) down the center aisle trailed by the three oldest. It's a good thing too because Munchie thought it would be funny to throw everything out of the cart. I couldn't help but think of Dawn on her grocery store trip.

Mom: "Wadie, socks"
Kadie: Hands the socks back to me to put back into the cart and takes off running
Mom: "Monkey, shinguards"
Monkey: Hands back the shinguards and takes off after Wadie
Mom: "Lou, shinguards. Wadie, Monkey, stop right there"
Lou: Hands back the shinguards and tells Munchie "No no"
Passersby: Laugh at the kids running amuck

I was glad to be on the way to the cash registers because I was ready to go home. The kids unloaded the cart. Made my job a bit easier. Wadie tried to talk me into getting her a baby bottle pop. Which wasn't exactly talking by sounded more like this... "YES!!! YES!!! CANDY!!! WAHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! YEEEES!!!" She needs to work on her tactics; she didnt persuade me. She actually put the candy back after telling her 6 or 7 times and I got my money out in anticipation of the current damage. I swear I single handedly pay the cashier's paycheck everytime I go in there.

A shopping trip can not be complete though unless one kid has to go to the bathroom and announces it to everyone within ear shot.

Wadie: "I hafta go to da baffrrooooommm"
Mom: "Hold it Wadie, we are almost done"
Wadie: "It bout to come ouuuuuuuuut"
Mom: I look over at Wadie and happen to see a pack of Pokemon cards on the shelf next to her. A big smile comes across my face and I remember that somewhere someone is doing the same thing I am doing and going just as crazy.

Edited to add:
Funny story. Happened while we were in Texas Roadhouse. My mother in law cracked up when I told her so I had to come share even if it doesn't make much sense to you. It is pretty hilarious to us.

We were just finishing up dinner when this man and his wife walked in. The kids were pretty ancy at this point. Munchie was starting to fuss, Mac was in her carseat and not so happy about it, Wadie was crawling under the table and Lou & Monkey were "tired" so they were lying on the bench. The man stopped at the table as if looking at an exhibit at the zoo. He started talking to Munchie then asked "Where's daddy?" I thought for sure one of the kids would tell him but they didn't. Usually we bring "daddy" in with us (we have a Flat Daddy which you can see pictures of at but we didn't bring him in this time). Even with some prodding from me they still weren't chiming in. I told the man daddy was in Iraq at which point Monkey chimes in with "He's in the car." Yes, daddy was in the car but not that daddy. Wadie then pulled my phone out of the diaper bag and upon opening it exclaimed, "Dare's Daddy!" I'm sure the man thought I was nuts, oh well. Kids do say the darndest things sometimes.

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