The Week or Last Two In Review

This past week has been a bit crazy. I've had a couple incidents with birds, a yard sale with some crazy people and had to empty the contents of my fridge this morning. Are you ready? I hope so... hold on tight, it's gonna be a wild ride. Ok, so maybe I'm exaggerating... but still, read it, and have a laugh at my expense.


Sometime last week... Monday maybe, no it was more like last Friday. I went to the mall. It was a nice day out so I had my moon roof open. I forgot to close it when I went into the mall and didn't think much of it. When I came back out to the car I noticed a bird flying around my van. We always have tons of birds around but this one was acting really weird. That's when I noticed that it was IN my van. It was trying to get out through the windshield. I don't know how long it was in there but at that point all that mattered was getting it out. So I open up the driver side door, trying to show it how to get out. It just kept flying into the windshield... must have the "If at first you don't succeed" mentality. A second later he flies into the passenger side window... ummm duh, that door is closed dummy. I've got my kids strapped into the stroller still waiting to be put in the car and a man walks by staring at us so I say, "There's a bird in my car" all nonchalantly like it happens all the time. I then walk over to the passenger side door to open it and the bird flies back out the moonroof. Why he couldn't do that in the first place is beyond me LoL I quickly check the car for any presents he left behind and I found two tiny spots. Not so bad, so he must not have been in there too long. I'm just glad he didn't die in my car by breaking his neck on the windshield or something. Damn bird!

Monday rolls around and Lexi comes home from school with a headache. Yah, as if her best friend Ashley coming home had NOTHING to do with it. I had already made a drs appt for the three little ones for their coughs and goopy eyes so I had to take her along. It was at 220 and knowing drs I figured I better pick up Jacob too incase I wasn't home in time. Its a good thing I did because we were there until 5pm. Turns out all 5 of my kids have strep and the dr says I should get checked out too. I was secretly hoping she would just call me in a prescription along with the kids' just to be on the safe side. But I guess being a pediatric dr that would look kinda fishy.

Tuesday the kids wouldn't be able to go to school... damn, I was gonna miss playgroup. I felt bad cause I had organized it. My sink was still clogged so I couldn't wash any dishes to make the kids lunch so we went to grab pizza at the mall. I figured as long as we weren't touching or interacting with anyone we would be fine. Hope the couple sitting next to us didn't get coughed on too much... kidding people.

Wednesday was another weird day. The kids were back in school and I had a drs appt at 340 which meant I had rush out the door to pick up the kids at school early since I had no babysitter. Yay, 5 kids at Tuttle where they have a play area that is supposed to be a positive thing but when you've got 5 kids that just want to play... it's not such a nice idea. I was walking out the door to put the kids in the car when I kicked something. I looked down and hopping away was a little bird. It was very pretty and looked injured. I didn't do it people... it had to have already been injured or I never would have been able to kick it. So I put the kids in the car and came back in the house to ask John what I should do (he was on instant messenger). He didn't know so I took a couple pictures of the bird... cause it was so pretty... and then just left it there. I felt bad since there are about 276 cats in my neighborhood but I had to go. The kids drove me nuts in my appt and I was so ready to get out home that I forgot to stop and get my prescription filled. She didn't check me for anything just gave me some antibiotics and told me to slow down. HA! Who is she kidding? When I pulled in the driveway I saw the poor bird dead... damn. I didn't know what to do or who to call, so I felt really bad.

When we left Thursday morning the bird was gone. We had playgroup so I had to take the kids to school then get some ingredients for my 7 layer dip. It ended up only be 6 layers though cause I was too lazy to cut the tomatoes. I was already running late. It started at 1030 and I left my house at 1032. I drove like a maniac to get there. It was a nice turn out, lots of moms were there and they LOVED my dip so much. We cleaned the whole thing up... had they not been being conservative I'm sure a couple of them would have been licking the casserole dish. I suppose that will probably be requested from now on LoL

Friday I had to clean up a bit since I had a couple people coming over to bring stuff for Saturday's yardsale. Little did I know, it was the day of deliveries. It was my 8 yr anniversary and I was expecting my laptop from Dell that my husband ordered for me. The doorbell rang and it was Kelly bringing over some yardsale stuff. Then about an hour later Heather with some yardsale stuff. An hour after that I thought this time it was my laptop, but it wasn't. It was another gift from my husband... a new anniversary bouquet of flowers. They were gorgeous and I was on webcam with him when I got them so he got to see my reaction. He has been spoiling me so much since he was home. He better not break this habit any time soon... I'm really enjoying it LoL Probably another hour later I got another delivery... still not my laptop. This time it was a baby gate. A much needed one for my doorway since my door broke and it would cost $200 for another one. The gate and a curtain will suffice for now though. It gets the job done. My laptop finally arrived around 630... yay! I didn't even open it though cause I was too tired to set it up and what not. So I just left the box on the couch waiting for me. At 9 the doorbell rang again. No idea who it could have been but I was thinking maybe it was Bonnie since Ashley had called shortly before that but it wasn't. It was the neighbor bringing over a couple tables for the next days yard sale. Much needed tables, at that.

I got up on Saturday at 430. The dogs wanted out and since my alarm was set for 5 I decided to just stay up. I cleaned the living room, the kitchen, the den, the dining room, the bathroom and the hallways all by about 6. Plus I checked my email and all of my groups. I was very productive. I sat back down at the computer waiting for the sun to come up before being able to bring stuff outside. I was barely done bringing my stuff out when I had two customers pull up. The lady spent over $30 and the guy spent $15. Not bad for 2 customers at 730 in the morning. Tiffany showed up as they were finishing up so I could start bringing Heather and Kelly's things out. Heather arrived shortly after Tiffany and she must have looked friendly because everyone bombarded her with payment and questions. Kelly and Brittini finally arrived and we got most of the stuff out and organized. The toys sold pretty well... clothes on the other hand did not. This one lady wanted to buy Heather's 30 gallon tub of baby girls clothes sized 0-9mths for only $5. Heather asked if she would go any higher and she said, "6?" Heather was in shock, still being bombarded by customers and trying to think. She blurted out, "$7.50?" The lady counteracted with $7. WTH is 50 cents??? We were all so glad at the end of the day that the lady didn't take it for $7.50 and that Heather didn't let her have it for $7 cause she ended up making more money off the items she actually sold from the bucket which wasn't even half of what was in there. Later in the day a woman came with her infant and (I'm guessing) 3 yr old. Her boy was good at first, no one really noticed him. Then it was time for them to leave. The boy was screaming... "Let go of me. Don't touch me. I'm not ready to go." I offered my help since she had the infant in one hand and was trying to get her son to come with her in the other hand. I've been there, embarrassed as hell and everyone just staring. I almost said, "This isn't a free show people, go about your business." but I didn't. I recognized the look on her face when she turned down my help, at least I would if I looked in the mirror when I was having one of those moments. I can only imagine what some of those people were thinking watching this unfold. She somehow managed to make it to her car with both her kids which was parked a good three houses down the street. She got the baby in the car and I'm assuming while she was doing this is when her son took off. The next thing I hear is the little boy screaming, "Stay away from me! I don't want to leave." and he is running back towards my house with his mom in fast pursuit. I didn't watch but I saw the horror on one older couple's faces and I may be mistaken but I swear I heard her whop him a good one. That boy was in for it when he got home. I know that. All in all the yardsale went well. My pink Bumbo didn't sell for the measly $10 it was priced at even though about 8 or 10 people asked about it. My brand new infant carseat didn't sell either, until the end when we were the customers and Brittini snagged it at that great price. I took all of Heather's leftover VHS tapes, a movie and a game from Brittini and a couple cookbooks from Tiffany. Tiffany raided my baby clothes and all the boys clothes I had went to Brittini. I got rid of a bunch of stuff... although I'm not sure what I really sold. I made a total of $119. No one wanted my free adorable puppy and Wyatt was testing his mom's nerves when he ran straight out into the street after she said, "Don't you dare step foot on that pavement!" We both ran like bats out of hell. The kids were very well behaved and all played well together. It was a fun day... it got hot too! Can't wait for the next one.

Oh, and the RotoRooter guy came by yesterday as well. He had some nice bling going on in his mouth {insert eye roll} Told me it was gonna cost me $120 to snake my pipes... come one you pervs, not like that! So in the middle of the yardsale I get snaked out of $120 for two pieces of CLOTH stuck in my pipes. Who the hell puts cloth down the drain? I KNOW it was not me or one of my kids because it is nothing that we use. The cloths are too small to be my antibacterial wipes and they aren't baby wipes. They look more like dryer sheets and we don't use those, never have. So you better believe I'm sending my receipt with my reduced rent check. I am not paying for it!

I woke up this morning at 430. The dogs needed food and water so I walked into the kitchen to fill their bowl to find my fridge standing wide open. OMG, how long was it open for? My best guess, 9 hours. The milk was as warm as cat piss and the whole fridge would have to be emptied. Including but not limited to... the milk, a 5lb roll of hamburger, 4 bags of shredded cheese, a brand new pack of sliced cheese, hot dogs, orange juice, eggs and all the kids' antibiotics. DAMMIT!!! I hope the pharmacy can give me more without a prescription. I don't need strep coming back into our house. Thank god my kids can survive on juice and poptarts for a day cause I'm not grocery shopping with all 5 of them. Now if I could just get them to clean up this disaster of a house this day might turn out to be not so bad after all. HA! Now, who am I kidding?

So that is my crazy week... how was yours?

The Things Kids Say

I know I posted a couple in my last blog but here I sit at 7am and my almost 7 year old makes me laugh.

L is cleaning her room this morning and she comes out to ask me a question...
"Mom, where's Jacob?"
"He's in my bed, why?"
"I need his help. He's an under bed person."

Ok, so it doesn't seem quite as funny as I type it out but you have to know that JC is the only one that ever cleans out underneath the beds. He will go all the way under to get the lego in the far corner and he won't miss a thing. L just isn't an under the bed person. Like me, it freaks her out LoL


I'm not sure I shared this sweet little comment made by my 3yr old, if I did, I apologize.

About a month or so ago the kids had upset me terribly right before bed. K sleeps with me so we went to bed and I buried my head in my pillow. I began to cry, uncontrollably. I was trying to be quiet but K still heard.

She says, "Don't cry mom. Moms don't cry, only kids cry."


Speaking of crying... I'm not sure what brought this on, but yesterday JC told me that I don't cry.

Me "I do cry, just not in front of you."
JC "Nuh-uh! You fake cry but you don't really cry because you don't have tears."
Me "Yes I do. I just cried the other day."
JC "Nuh-uh! You don't cry, you just fake cry."

This led to an argument between the girls and JC about me crying. I'm still not sure he believes it.


The kids are supposed to be getting dressed for school.

I tell them, "You aren't following directions."
To which L replies, "Maybe it went in one ear and out the other."

J also thought his GameBoy needed cleaning. He walked off with his GameBoy in hand and I hear the water running in the bathroom. I just knew what he was doing.

"J!! NO!!!"
Almost in tears from me yelling, "But why? It's dirty!"

Change

If you happened to notice something different about my blog then you have been very observant. Ok, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see the colors have changed... but did you notice the title!!!! I just wasn't feeling the old title. This one seems to suit me well and Im going with it.

For the last 4 months we have been expecting daddy to be home the beginning of January. Looks like the Army decided they had other plans. J won't be home for another month now. I was pissed when I found out. I was ready to get on the phone to his commander and demand those assholes let my husband come home before the pricks that just put in their leave requests a month ago.

I wasn't worried so much about myself. I've dealt with this, I know how things can change last minute with the Army. After all, if the Army wanted you to have a wife they would have issued you one. But try explaining to a 6 year old that daddy is going to once again miss her birthday. Try explaining that he has to work later than we expected and that all the plans we already made have to be switched around. She literally cried when I told her.

I also cried... while I was putting some Christmas presents in my closet thinking about how much more time I have to do this alone. How much longer I have to tell my children that daddy will be home soon but soon never seems to come.

Don't get me wrong, there is so much that is great about this life but these heartaches make it so damn hard to get through each day with a positive attitude. I always have to look to my kids to see the good that can come from situations.

L: "But I don't want to dad to miss my birthday."
Me : "I know, I don't want him to miss mine either."
JC: "Well, he already missed MY birthday!"
So very, very true...

I was upset about finding out that we would have to wait longer for J to be home with us. L was still bummed but quickly bounced back as she said, "well, we do have longer to get the house cleaned now!"
Again, so very, very true...

What would I do without these amazing kids of mine? I know I complain alot about them but I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. We have our good days and we have our bad days, but such is my life!

Out and About

Remember the memory thing I was talking about earlier? Yah. Mine's not fairing so well these days and I am really starting to get annoyed by it. Alas, that is not the point of this blog.

Lou had her first outdoor soccer practice this evening. She is playing with a bunch of rich kids and I felt sort of out of place. I do it for her though. She really enjoys soccer and when I found out that I had apparently signed her up I knew I had to let her play. I say apparently because until yesterday I had no idea she was playing soccer. Or that Monkey was too but on a different team and on a different day for both practices and games.

Makes for a busy week but this is what I always dreamed of doing with my kids. Taking them to practices and games for whatever sport they so desired to play. My dreams never included the swarms of gnats or Wadie peeing on the merry go round at the playground though. I also did not think about Munchie's addiction to balls and had no idea that he would scream for them and run circles around me while I was holding Mac and talking on my phone.

All in all, practice went good. The kids enjoyed themselves and I sweated away a few pounds. Guess that last bit doesn't matter since we went to dinner at Texas Roadhouse afterwards. Captain John would be jealous. That is his favorite restaurant.

Dinner was actually pleasant. And by pleasant I mean, there was never a point I wanted to rip my hair out of my head, showcase my kids on the walls like the animals they can be, or cower under the table. Not that there would have been room under the table with as many times as Wadie went back and forth between my side and the kids side.

They were behaving themselves when I got the guestion I was just waiting for. "Are they all yours?" I couldn't help but laugh a bit inside thinking about Dawn and her shopping trip. I let out a little giggle as I said, "I only claim them when they are being good, and today has been okay." I realized after I said that I was probably doomed for a terrible night.

We finished dinner and headed over to Target. I had to pick up some soccer equipment for the kids. I figured I could kill two birds with one stone since we were already there.

I put Mac in the back of the cart. I know, big no no but what can you do with 5 kids? There aren't many options. In my defense, she was in her carrier, she wasn't going anywhere. Munchie got to sit up front and Wadie rode on the back (another no no of course). Lou and Monkey walked. Surprisingly I didn't end up with 50 things I didn't want or need in my cart.

We stopped at the water bottles and they each picked out one. Next was soccer balls. Lou wanted the $20 shinguards but I just couldn't see paying that much for the color pink. I already paid $9 for a salad in the Atlanta Airport just for her to eat the croutons a few weeks ago; I had to draw the line somewhere. Monkey picked out a yellow soccer ball. We finished up with the $4 shinguards and two pair of Adidas cleats. They are the same exact colors and the same exact sizes. Let's hope when they go missing that we don't just find two left shoes.

I was considering finishing up with school shopping. It is ridiculous how much we have to get and even more ridiculous how much it ends up costing. Highway robbery at its finest. I skipped that because Mac was getting cranky and Munchie was trying to imitate Superman. How do you explain to a 1 year old that he can NOT fly?

I pushed my full cart (that was full before I even started shopping) down the center aisle trailed by the three oldest. It's a good thing too because Munchie thought it would be funny to throw everything out of the cart. I couldn't help but think of Dawn on her grocery store trip.

Mom: "Wadie, socks"
Kadie: Hands the socks back to me to put back into the cart and takes off running
Mom: "Monkey, shinguards"
Monkey: Hands back the shinguards and takes off after Wadie
Mom: "Lou, shinguards. Wadie, Monkey, stop right there"
Lou: Hands back the shinguards and tells Munchie "No no"
Passersby: Laugh at the kids running amuck

I was glad to be on the way to the cash registers because I was ready to go home. The kids unloaded the cart. Made my job a bit easier. Wadie tried to talk me into getting her a baby bottle pop. Which wasn't exactly talking by sounded more like this... "YES!!! YES!!! CANDY!!! WAHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! YEEEES!!!" She needs to work on her tactics; she didnt persuade me. She actually put the candy back after telling her 6 or 7 times and I got my money out in anticipation of the current damage. I swear I single handedly pay the cashier's paycheck everytime I go in there.

A shopping trip can not be complete though unless one kid has to go to the bathroom and announces it to everyone within ear shot.

Wadie: "I hafta go to da baffrrooooommm"
Mom: "Hold it Wadie, we are almost done"
Wadie: "It bout to come ouuuuuuuuut"
Mom: I look over at Wadie and happen to see a pack of Pokemon cards on the shelf next to her. A big smile comes across my face and I remember that somewhere someone is doing the same thing I am doing and going just as crazy.

Edited to add:
Funny story. Happened while we were in Texas Roadhouse. My mother in law cracked up when I told her so I had to come share even if it doesn't make much sense to you. It is pretty hilarious to us.

We were just finishing up dinner when this man and his wife walked in. The kids were pretty ancy at this point. Munchie was starting to fuss, Mac was in her carseat and not so happy about it, Wadie was crawling under the table and Lou & Monkey were "tired" so they were lying on the bench. The man stopped at the table as if looking at an exhibit at the zoo. He started talking to Munchie then asked "Where's daddy?" I thought for sure one of the kids would tell him but they didn't. Usually we bring "daddy" in with us (we have a Flat Daddy which you can see pictures of at www.myspace.com/mombobcrazypants but we didn't bring him in this time). Even with some prodding from me they still weren't chiming in. I told the man daddy was in Iraq at which point Monkey chimes in with "He's in the car." Yes, daddy was in the car but not that daddy. Wadie then pulled my phone out of the diaper bag and upon opening it exclaimed, "Dare's Daddy!" I'm sure the man thought I was nuts, oh well. Kids do say the darndest things sometimes.