Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Way That I Am

Do you know what I hate?

I hate people that say they are going to do something, and then they don't. But that is ME, with this blog. I come on here and say, "Oh sorry, I promise to do better." and I don't. Well, I do for awhile, but then something changes and I have no desire to write anything further. Not very disciplined, huh.

Doesn't surprise me though. There has been nothing in my life that I have kept up with. I have always quit something. I quit dance as a kid, I quit gymnastics, I quit softball, I quit being friend's with certain people, I quit jobs (many, many jobs), and somewhere along the line I quit believing in myself because I knew I would eventually quit whatever it was I thought I could do.

The only thing I have not quit doing is being a mother to all my babies. That does not mean that I believe I am a good mother, or even that I am a bad mother... but more like a mediocre one. Your average, run of the mill, screw them up kinda mother.

That's me... and I am not here looking for any kind of sympathy or praise from anyone. I know a lot of people out there think I am some supermom but I don't feel like it most days. Don't get me wrong, there are days I don't lose my mind, I get my house cleaned, the kids are fed wonderful meals for breakfast, lunch AND dinner and my husband gets some much needed attention too which makes me feel like some sort of superhero but those days are rare.

I am just average. And maybe I can learn to be ok with that... with the way that I am.

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