Too Much to Handle

I am frustrated, stressed, anxious, and just plain overwhelmed. There is so much that I need to do and it feels like something new is added to my to-do list every day and with that new thing comes some new problem.

Today it is paying the bills. My computer is being stupid so here I sit typing a blog instead of getting the bills paid. Don't worry, it will get done, I am just taking a mental health break because if I don't, I just may have a break down.

Yesterday I was being lazy and catching up on my Tivo recordings when a bird flew into my house. It took an hour to get the stupid pigeon from the window ledge in my great room and out the door but not before knocking a light fixture over and and having it shattered to pieces at my feet.

Last week I tried filing our taxes but couldn't e-file due to my social security number coming back as a duplicate. After spending most of Monday morning on the phone with the IRS I was told I would have to paper file. They think the person that filed last year using my social security number didn't do so on purpose and it was just a typing error. However, that typing error is causing me problems and it is extremely annoying. I pulled my credit report to make sure there were no issues there and found a name and address I did not recognize. I then spent some more time on the phone with Experian getting that taken off my credit report. After that, I called Dish Network to see if this person had opened an account with them (there was a Dish account listed on my credit report, too) but they had no record of her or my social security number but Experian took the Dish account off my report, as well.

Last month I was dealing with mice in my car and garage. I take that back, they are more like rats, not mice. We first noticed them in November when my husband swore a mouse jumped on him while driving the van and then after putting a trap in my car we caught one that night. We left for Ohio and didn't notice any when we came back until last weekend when there was another one caught in a trap. It was huge. Not New York huge but big enough. We also found out John's name and social security number were compromised and we are still dealing with that.

A couple months before that we were dealing with roaches. It's not uncommon for Hawaii but extremely disgusting none-the-less. Terminix came out and sprayed and so far we have been good since then. Now we are just dealing with the ridiculous amount of flies that like to fly in whenever the door is open and the typical fly strips just don't work here like they did in Washington.

And a couple of months before that we found out my husband was red flagged for elimination from the Army. He had to decide if he was going to resign, or if he was going to fight the elimination. We decided that resigning wasn't the way to go, as he wouldn't get any separation pay so we decided we would let the Army decide whether they would keep him or not. We just found out recently that if the Army decides to eliminate him he still won't get any separation pay. We thought getting out of the Army was the best option for our family, but now we don't know. He is going to have to go in front of the board and plead his case and we will see what the outcome is. Not knowing when that will happen is the worst feeling. It makes all this other stuff feel insignificant.

On top of dealing with all of this, I still have to play mom and wife and teacher on a daily basis. I started homeschooling Adam a few months back and while he is doing well, it just takes a lot of my time and energy. I never get a break. Now soccer has started back up so my days feel shorter and shorter. Nothing seems to ever get done and my stress level goes through the roof during soccer season. As much as I love watching my kids play, the organization (or lack thereof) of the league makes it almost unbearable.

I hope that one of these days I look back on these times and forget the frustration. I hope that I don't remember being overwhelmed and stressed out. I hope that looking back will be filled with thoughts of happy kids and all I can do is laugh about the hurdles I seemed to face on a daily basis. In the end, it won't be about the dirty dishes in the sink, the stack of unfolded clean laundry, and the endless drama. It will be about how my kids came out of this life. And I hope they come out of it on top because right now, I feel like all I do is stress them out and make their lives miserable while I am dealing with the every day crap that a mom has to deal with.