Thursday, May 8, 2008

Is it a fullmoon or something???

Remember the story about the bird I kicked. It seemed like such an isolated incident but now Im not so sure.

This week has been rather weird. Strange things have been popping up in my yard and it's starting to really weird me out. Did I piss off someone in the neighborhood? Are the animals after me for killing the bird? Are the gods punishing me for not telling that man at the post office that his fly was down as he was holding the door open for us? What's your guess.

A couple of weeks ago I saw something in the yard. I took a closer look to see it was a snake. It was laying on it's back and curled up. I thought it was dead so I poked it with a stick... it felt kinda hard. Not sure if it was dead or plastic... but Im not picking it up to find out... ewwww!

Then this week I noticed a dead squirrel in my yard. We have a lot of cats in the neighborhood but usually they are all pretty lazy. The same squirrel was being chewed on by my dog the other morning when he got out of the yard. Which he decided to drop right in front of the door. I had to kick it out of my way, it was so gross.

As I was getting in the car I noticed another dead animal... this time a bird. It was by my house and dead as can be. And very weird that this was yet another dead animal in my yard. I was getting creeped out.

Since the neighbor kid had thought the squirrel in front of my door was a different one than was in my yard I had to check it out. When I got to the laying ground of previous mentioned squirrel, it was gone. In it's place was yet ANOTHER damn bird. WTH?!

At this point I was seriously wondering what the hell I had done to be punished this way. I asked a friend what I should do and she said to scoop them up and throw them away. So I did. I grabbed an old cloth and grabbed the squirrel by his tail. I was trying to open the lid of the garbage can when the bugger slipped out of my hand narrowly missing my flip-flopped foot. I screached like an 8 yr old school boy being chased by all the girls. It was so gross. I picked it up again and tossed it into the bottom of my garbage can... it would figure garbage day is Monday. I then scooped up the bird by the house into a cup and tossed both into the garbage. Getting the other bird proved to be a bit trickier. He was flat as a pancake and I couldnt get ahold of his foot to pick him up. It took a few tries but I eventually got it into the garbage too. Yuck!

Then today as I was cleaning up in the front yard I noticed something blue... looked like maybe a shirt or something. As I got closer I thought it looked like a tank top. I grabbed a corner and realized what they were. Underwear!!! Men's briefs!!! IN MY FRONT YARD!!! Looked like they had been ribbed off of someone like a wedgie gone terrible wrong. Or maybe my dogs attacked some man running down the street in his skivvies, then he turned into two birds and a squirrel???

Reminds me... after my last yard sale I found one of my signs torn to shreds in my front yard. I feel like Im being targeted... shredded signs, tattered underwear and dead animals. Sounds like someone is trying to send me a message? But what is it that they are saying... "Take your signs down or we will give you the worst imaginable wedgie or kill wild vermin." Hmmmm???

1 comment:

Tiffany said...

I told you that you were cursed! lol I'm sure theres just some crazy animal killing, underwear tearing disease going around. The sign was totally well a sign that you should take them down in a timely manner! LOL Just don't be bringing your bad luck my way sista!