Friday, January 18, 2008

The Many Adventures of Flat Daddy

***This is a blog that I wrote on MySpace back in August that I thought I would repost over here. Enjoy!***

Well I finally got up the nerve to cut out our flat daddy and if you haven't seen him yet, check out "The Many Adventures of Flat Daddy" photo album at

Adventure 1 - July 25th 2007 Dinner at Applebee's
We took Daddy to Applebee's for dinner. Lexi carried him in. We could hear people giggling and saying "whoa" or "oh my god" but no one made any rude comments and I wasn't embarrassed. Lexi was so excited, she even wanted dad to sit next to her. He sat in the booth with us... our waitress didn't say anything about it. I heard some people come in and when they saw it I heard "Whoa I thought that was a real person." and some more giggling. One woman even came up to me and told me how cool it was. She wanted to get one for herself and asked where I got it. We left shortly after and I made sure to buckle daddy into the front seat. Good thing too because I had to slam on my breaks at one point, he might have gone through the window

Adventure 2 - July 27th 2007 Driving to Toledo
It was time to go to Toledo and I wanted to take Daddy with us. He got to sit in the front seat and be my driving buddy. I had some people looking at him at the rest stop and he freaked me out when I walked out of McDonald's cause I thought someone was in the front seat. One woman asked about him and we chatted for a bit. Some people just laughed and a couple times I saw people do a double take. It was pretty funny. I took a couple pictures of him in the car. He seemed to be having a good time.

Adventure 3 - July 28th 2007 Bob Evans for Lunch
My sister was embarrassed. She didn't want him to go with us. She said he freaked her out... what does that say about how she feels about him in real life? Hmmmm. Jacob carried daddy in on his back. That didn't last very long because he got him caught in the door on the way in... poor daddy got all bent up. April thought that was pretty funny... it is after the fact but not then. Lexi then held him while we were waiting for our table and people just kinda looked at it funny. I didn't care. Kadie then wanted to carry him and it was so cute. I heard one guy say "Wow that guy has some short legs" LoL April was still really embarrassed and I told her she could sit next to him I didn't though, I put him at the end of the table with the kids but she could see him from where she was sitting. She's crazy, so I switched seats with her. He enjoyed his lunch of a wildfire chicken salad (is that what its called?) and an ice tea. (I didn't really get him food people LoL)

Adventure 4 - July 28th 2007 Visiting Michigan Fans
We went to visit my mom and stepdad. I had left John in the car and when my sister showed up she told me I should bring him in. I went and got him and my stepdad just loved it. Thought it was the coolest thing. John sat on the couch to watch some tv with Don and I took a picture. Of course the Michigan fan had to give bunny ears to the Ohio State fan... and then they dressed Adam in a Michigan hat... good thing daddy was only cardboard, he would not have been happy.

Adventure 5 - July 30th 2007 Toledo Zoo
We went back to the zoo on Monday (we were just there Sunday) and we took daddy with us. I made him into a back pack so we could easily carry him around. The kids took turns and I heard people laughing and commenting. Oh, this was the day the guy made the 'short legs' comment. I love it when the kids carry him around. They soon got tired of it so I put him on my back. I heard people talking about it but no one really asked me anything. One kid asked his mom about it and she said he must be overseas. Not long after I put it on the strap broke (because it was so windy) so I could no longer carry daddy. He got to sit on the stroller with the babies and got to see the sea lions and polar bears with us. He guarded the stroller while the kids and I rode the train. He did a good job, everything was still there. After that the kids wanted to buy a hat so we did... the lady there asked me lots of questions, she was really nice. She loved the idea too. We decided to take dad back to the car because it was too hard to carry him now with the strap broken. Jacob carried him under his arm and it was so cute. Be sure to check out that picture.

Adventure 6 - August 4th 2007 Family Reunion
It was the day of my family reunion. I wasn't sure if I was going to bring daddy with us or not. I wanted to but I wasn't sure how I would take him and all the kids. My sister, of course, didn't want me to but my aunt said I should. So I did. He sat in the trunk this time and looked out the window. I had lots of help getting stuff out of the van so I could take daddy with us. He sat on the stroller and I heard everyone laughing. It didn't bother me one bit. I know how my family is and I was not the least bit surprised. I heard my grandma laughing the loudest, she is so funny. I had a couple people ask if I was crazy (not seriously though) and ask if I was really that lonely. No, I'm not that lonely but its for the kids so they can see their daddy. Sara and Adam don't really know him and to constantly have him around will be good for them so they wont be scared of him when he gets back. My cousin Nikki joked that he slept in the bed with me... I joked that he is the perfect husband, he looks good and doesn't talk LoL He sat around by the stroller just watching everything going on. This little girl kept trying to play with him... she wanted to carry him around with her so I had to protect him. Before heading out to Don Pablo's we had to get a family picture. He was right down in front. I have yet to see the picture, but as soon as I get a copy I will post it.

Adventure 7 - August 4th 2007 John's Birthday Celebration
I made plans with some people to go out for John's birthday on the 4th. I was supposed to have a babysitter but I didn't, so the night wasn't exactly how I pictured it. I had planned to buy a round of whiskey shots, make a toast, cry a little (LoL) and celebrate my husband's birthday even though he couldn't be here with us. Then I wanted to go to the Comedy Club... it didn't quite go like that. First of all, I didn't have a sitter so I had to take 3 our of 5 kids with me so I could only have one drink. I also only had 4 people go with me (not including the kids). I was hoping for a bigger turn out but I'm glad I got to hang out with Becky and Andrea, it was still a fun couple of hours. I wasn't feeling up to the whiskey shot and I didn't want to have too much to drink as I still had to drive and had kids with me. John came in with us and sat at the table. A couple people asked if he was coming home... it was sad to say that he isn't for awhile. I tried telling our server it was his birthday but I don't think he heard me. I was going to get him the sombrero and have them sing happy birthday to him but I didn't... that would have been funny.

*Well those were all the adventures he has been on so far. He spent the remainder of the trip in the trunk of the car (sorry honey). And at one point the stroller crushed him... I thought I would cry. He looks ok still, just a little banged up. I think I might have to order me another one because he needs to look good for Christmas pictures. I know I will be bringing him to Toledo for the holidays (if we go) but I also want to take him to get family pics with us when we get them done. And no I am not embarrassed, I don't think its stupid, or silly or anything like that... I think that my husband is fighting for our country and we miss him very much and it really does help the kids*

Here are some adventure updates from the holidays. Flat Daddy mostly sat in the front seat of the van so he would always be with us while running errands or taking the kids to school. Everyone that sees him just loves him and comments if they can.

Adventure 8 - December 21st 2007 - Driving to Toledo
Flat Daddy sat up front as he always does... safely buckled into the passenger seat. The airbag was automatically turned off because he doesn't quite weigh enough and we wouldn't want him to be hurt by it. We stopped at a rest area just outside of Tennessee because Jacob had to go really bad, and I had to too. When we were coming back out there was a family of 4 walking by the van. They were laughing and staring and thought it was the coolest thing. I love when Flat Daddy makes people smile. At a gas station stop in Tennessee a guy was watching me and the kids get out of the car. As we walked by him he asked, "Army?" I replied with a quick yah because I was trying to get into the gas station for a bathroom run and this guy kinda creeped me out. He then asks, "Is that the kids' dad?" WTH? Why would you ask something like that? Does it even really matter? I guess it could have been an innocent question like he was asking if it was my husband (because I wouldn't have thought twice about that but he didn't want to assume, ya know.). Anyways, I said yah and went about my business. We made another gas station stop in Kentucky. I took the kids in to the bathroom and got them some candy. On the way back out there was a van parked next to mine that I didn't think much of. I buckled the kids in and as I stepped out I heard a woman call to me. I turned to see what she wanted...

"That is really neat." she said, pointing to Flat Daddy.
"Where did you get it?"
"I got it on The first one is free for families of deployed soldiers or they are $50 each." As I said that it suddenly occurred to me that I FORGOT my brand new flat daddy at home. "Shoot! I just realized I forgot my new one that I needed for Christmas pictures. Crap! Oh well, better this one than none."
The lady gave me a sympathetic smile... or was she laughing at me... I can't really be sure. Then she thanked me as they drove off.

We arrived at the in laws around 10pm so I left Flat Daddy in the car to keep watch for anything suspicious. I only brought in the essentials so he had to make sure no one stole any presents from the car. He did such a good job!

Adventure 9 - December 24th 2007 - Christmas Eve Service
I had brought Flat Daddy into the house the day after arriving at my in laws and the kids wanted to bring him to church with us. My mother in law thought it was a great idea. He sat at the end of the pew next to Jacob & Lexi. He stayed seated the whole service, even when everyone else was standing. It could have something to do with his lack of legs... not sure though. He couldn't hold a candle either. We didn't want him to hurt himself, after all he is flammable. He also wasn't much of a singer. I could barely hear him at all. Everyone loved seeing him. Jacob was carrying him out and kept bending his head. It was only a matter of time before something serious happened. By the time we got home from church, Flat Daddy had a serious skull fracture. The top of his skull was barely holding on. We scheduled surgery for Friday.

Adventure 10 - December 28th 2007 - Christmas Gift Exchange
The day of surgery had arrived. Chief of Surgery Dr. Sonya Whitehead took Flat Daddy into her operating room aka the kitchen. She layed him on the counter while she went to get her tools. No scalpel or needles were needed. Just some glue and popsicle sticks. Flat Daddy had 4 splints across the back of his head and was in recovery with a stack of books making sure the splints were secure for 4 hours (1 hour per splint). He was released in time to make it to the family gift exchange in Defiance. Since David rode with us to Defiance, Flat Daddy had to sit in the trunk. Once arriving he took his seat, overseeing dinner, on top of the water dispenser. After dinner he was moved beside the Christmas tree while listening to the Christmas Story. We drew numbers for the gift exchange and Flat Daddy was number 10. Lexi was picking for him. When it came to Flat Daddy's turn we moved him in front of the tv where he could see everyone and everyone could see him. At first, Lexi stole Ratatouille from David but after learning that is what he got them for Christmas we made her give it back. She then opened up a rather large gift that left both my mother in law and I thinking... "Oh no, a big item, where will that go in the van on the way back to Georgia!?" LoL It was a big tub of popcorn! Luckily that was stolen and she stole something just for Daddy. She knew he would love it! To secure that item, I ended up stealing it from her and she stole another item. This time I was BEGGING her to put it back... she was supposed to be getting something for her dad. I didn't think he would want a big tube of bubblegum (and I didn't want them having it). That is what we ended up with though. It's all good. Flat Daddy enjoyed his family Christmas. At least I think he did... he had a big smile on his face!

The next day we took a couple Christmas pictures. I would post the one of the family but I have not gotten a copy from his parents yet. He also rode up front again on the way back to Georgia (and everything fit too!) but there are no stories worth sharing.

*Flat Daddy hasn't been on any other adventures lately. The real thing will be home soon and we cannot wait! I have recently gotten another piece of cardboard to mount the new flat daddy and I will do that after the real daddy goes back to Iraq. I plan to take him on more adventures and to post stories and pictures of those adventures.


JL said...

OMG Bri! That's freakin hysterical! Love the seatbelt.

Bri said...

Thanks JL! Gotta keep my hubby safe anyway I can :)