Thursday, January 15, 2009

Mostly Unspoken Rules

At The Store

Rule 1: Cashiers, please acknowledge your customer. Stop talking to your coworker for just a second to say, hi. Also, put down your cell phone... your text can wait until later.

Rule 2: Pay attention baggers. See rule 1 for cashiers. You can take 3 seconds from your conversation to ask if a customer wants paper or plastic, or has their own bags. Then maybe you would know if I wanted my milk bagged (which is ridiculous to do).

Rule 3: If I ask for my groceries bagged in as little bags as possible, or I tell you I don't need a bag because I already have one... please respect me enough to do as I ask. I realize it only takes a couple brain cells to get hired to be a cashier but apparently good hearing wasn't a prerequisite.

Rule 4: When a customer puts their items on the counter in a particular order (i.e. heavy things together, cold things together, etc) then you should bag that way too. One block of cheese should not be bagged with 4 boxes of macaroni and cheese. Just because it has cheese in it, does not make it the same.

Rule 5: No one should need to do a workout before carrying their bags into the house which is 3 feet from the car. 8 cans of soup should not be in one bag. Also don't put so much into a bag that I have to use two hands because there is no reaching both handles in one hand.

Rule 6: If a customer asks for their stuff in as little bags as possible, please do just that. You can feel free to bag as many cans into a bag as you like. I don't need 4 bags for 6 items.

Rule 7: Chips, bananas, bread and eggs all go on top. Milk, cans and juice all goes on the bottom. Common sense.

Rule 8: Double bagging is a sin. NOTHING needs double bagged unless of course the customer asks for it.

Rule 9: Reusable bags are brought to save "the plastic trees" and when you bag my stuff in plastic then put it in the reusable bag, it really defeats the purpose now doesn't it. Check out The Toby Show if you want to see how many plastic bags are just floating around this planet.

Rule 10: Try to put all my groceries back into MY cart if I have larger cart than what you are using. Also leave the seat part empty if I have a kid with me. It is not pleasurable to have to switch my kids from one cart to another or to have to try to push a heavy cart while letting a 2 and 3 yr old walk through the parking lot. Not really my idea of fun.

Rule 11: If you break rule 10, offer to push my cart out for me. I don't care if you unload my groceries... in fact, don't. I know where I want them and I don't want my bread ending up on the bottom if you are not aware of rule 7. I will be very appreciative and I will say thank you.

Rule 12: Say something... thank you, have a nice day, etc... or a simple smile will say enough especially to a mom that is dealing with numerous kids in the grocery store.

On the Road

Rule 1: Blinkers are there for a reason. If I know you are turning I won't have to slam on my breaks to avoid rear-ending you.

Rule 2: If I am speeding (i.e. 10 over the limit) then there is no need to ride my ass. If you do ride my ass, know that I will slow down to the speed limit. If you still want to ride my ass then I will slow down even more so that it takes you even longer to get to where you are going. BACK OFF!

Rule 3: Green means GO! Red means STOP! Yellow means to go faster and if you make me get caught at a red light because you weren't paying attention I won't be happy. I won't do anything about it but cuss you out from behind my locked doors but know that I am mad.

Rule 4: If you hear sirens... stop, move over, something. If you are at a red light, do your best to move at least a little. What if that was YOU who was in need of an ambulance. And when the ambulance goes by you, don't try to be the first one out. No one likes an ambulance chaser.

Rule 5: You do not have to stop to turn. Most turns are a continuous thing unless it is a red light, then by all means, stop first.

Rule 6: Those lines on the road are there for a reason. Stay in your lane, don't switch lanes on a solid line, if there is an arrow on the road it means that lane is a turn only lane and you CANNOT go straight. If you need to go straight, make sure the people in the straight lane know you are coming. See rule 1.

Rule 7: If you want to talk on your cell phone, fine. But drive the speed limit and pay attention to the light (see rule 3). If your driving sucks to begin with... probably not a good idea to talk while driving though.

Rule 8: Honking your horn is pretty much the same as getting flipped off. I only do it if I am really pissed and I do not need people honking at me because it took me 2 seconds to move my foot from the break to the gas. Also don't flip people off that you "think" honked at you.

*Feel free to add your own in the comments section.*


Penz said...

and don't wait for the parking spot to open up and take up the whole freaking driving path...go around and if its still open, its yours!!

Man you hit the nail on the head! we think alot a like on both topics...oh and also cashiersand baggers, after you use the restroom PLEASE wash your hands...I saw this the other day when I bagger left the bathroom and I think left a doobie and she didn't wash her hands...I went to check out and she was the bagger, I scooped up my things acted like I forgot something and went to another line..sorry chicka, your not touching my food with those caca hands...

Tiffany said...

LOL glad you remembered the plastic trees - I almost spit out my diet dr pepper when I read that!

#1 add on: Do not drink and drive - get a cab dumb ass - don't be swerving all in my lane.
#2 add-on: could you wait to kiss your significant other until you pull over - I don't want to wait on you to make out before going on a GREEN LIGHT
#3 add on: Please actually LOOK before changing lanes, backing out or turning around - I shouldn't have to hook at you to make you pay attention
#4 add-on: if you are tired, pissed or any other strong emotion please don't drive

Sheri said...

Adding to the At the store : Please stop licking your finger to open the bag! Am I the only one that hates that? UGH